White lies. Who doesn't know them, the little distortions of the truth with which we try to avoid a conflict or not to hurt others. Wikipedia defines white lies as follows: "A white lie is a minor lie which could be considered harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term."

But are white lies really so harmless, or even beneficial? Why then do we often find it so difficult to tell the truth?
Each of us tells the untruth an average of 200 times a day - or so the rumor goes. But is that true?
And anyone can lie - or so you might think.

Let's take a closer look at these theses.

Let's first look at the thesis that white lies are harmless. What motives do people have when they lie? We have to distinguish between lies that have the goal of protecting someone and lies that have the goal of benefiting someone. Protecting or favouring someone can refer to ourselves or to others. That is, one lies either to protect oneself or others, or to benefit oneself or others. And whether one calls it good or bad is ultimately also a question of perspective. So am I the one who is lying or am I the one who is being lied to? That is independent of the motive of the lie.
But are there situations in which it is better to lie?
Well, a lie, despite its bad image, can in certain situations have more positive than negative effects for all concerned, i.e. both for the one who lies and for the one who is lied to. But of course one must always bear in mind: there are short-term consequences of a behaviour, i.e. also of a lie, but there are also long-term consequences. That is, there are certainly situations in which a lie initially brings short-term advantages, but in the long term can also be disadvantageous for all involved. For example, if I present or portray myself as socially desirable somewhere, for example, if I present myself as particularly resilient to my employer, then this can be more favourable for me in the short term because I might get a bit of recognition. In the long term, however, it could take its toll because the demands that are then made on me may be much higher and do not correspond to my actual resilience and then overtax me in the long run.
And in the long run, that could even lead to the hoped-for recognition being lost again.

The statement that we lie 200 times a day could also come from a clickbait article. If the number 200 seems high, you can rely on your gut feeling, because it is probably not true. It can be assumed that this statement is a distorted quote from the 1977 book "I'm Sorry I Didn't Mean To and Other Lies We Love to Tell" by emeritus psychology professor Jerald Jellison. [1]
It is said to state that "[...] humans are lied to as many as 200 times a day in general"]. And this statement is an estimate that has no data basis. In other words, the number 200 is more or less plucked out of thin air and probably persists, but relatively stubbornly, because above all it sounds very spectacular.
The results of a study conducted by the University of Regensburg in 2003 with 77 test persons sound far less spectacular: On average, we lie 2x/day.
Perhaps one more aspect that should be taken into account in this topic: it is not at all trivial to determine or reliably examine in studies how often we lie per day. This is because lying has a very negative image. This means that you have to reckon with the fact that the participants in such a study may only report a fraction of the lies they actually tell and that the number given may therefore be distorted downwards.

Finally, a word about the claim that anyone can lie. Lying is not that easy if you look at it closely. We only learn to lie consciously at the age of 4 to 5. For this, the conscience, i.e. the idea of what is right and what is wrong, must be sufficiently developed.
And lying, whether a white lie or not, also involves a certain strategic thinking.
So lying is ultimately a cognitive performance that requires quite a few different aspects. First, we have to distinguish what we know ourselves and what others know. Then we have to suppress the truth, or at least our own truth. Then we have to construct a convincing lie, and we then have to be able to expand on this lie, for example, when asked by another person, or to reproduce it at another time. In other words, a lie is actually a cognitive performance, and this can also explain why we may be able to do it differently. And that in turn explains why young children have greater difficulty in lying. Because up to a certain stage of development, children cannot yet recognise, for example, whether their own knowledge differs from the knowledge of others. And that, in turn, is an important prerequisite for being able to lie at all. In other words, the ability to lie convincingly is also an indicator of a person's cognitive maturity when you look at childhood.

Could one then go so far as to say: people who are very good at lying are particularly intelligent?
Well, a minimum of verbal intelligence is certainly an advantage in order to appear convincing. Because in order to appear convincing, the liar has to present a very embellished, detailed false statement.
Let's take a look at the "perfect lie". A myth from detective stories and films? Supposedly, it takes a lot of detail to present a lie convincingly.
At least the reverse can be said: experience-based statements, i.e. statements that are based on a true experience, are very detailed, i.e. on average they also contain more details than a lie. That would mean: If we want to lie convincingly, then we should naturally orient ourselves to the form of a true statement. And in this case that means describing in as much detail as possible.
Incidentally, whether experts are better than lay people at recognising whether someone is lying has already been empirically investigated quite extensively. For example, specialised psychologists or criminologists. The results are rather sobering. It has been found that experts cannot distinguish lies from the truth, or not by much above the level of chance. In other words: In the vast majority of cases, the experts could also flip a coin and the result would be the same. There are simply no indicators in human behaviour that clearly signal that a person is lying.

Overall, it turns out that the issue of white lies is much more complex than it seems at first glance. While we have all probably told a little lie at some point to protect ourselves or others, we should be aware that any lie can have consequences. It is important to distinguish between a harmless white lie and a deliberate deception and to be aware that even a supposedly small lie can affect trust in a relationship or friendship. If we choose to tell the truth, we may cause unpleasant conflicts in the short term, but in the long term we can strengthen trust in our relationships and maintain our integrity.