I was once addicted to something that at the beginning I thought was fun and made me feel relaxed and not care about my surroundings.
This drug was called heroin.
I started snorting it when I was about 18. At that time it was only a party thing and I only did it if someone else brought it out. After a while I moved to another area and in this area come to find out it is infested with black tar heroin.
I started partying with some new people and they brought this out. After I tried this my life changed and I started spending all of my money on it. When you snort it this way you have to put a piece in water and melt it and snort all of the water up. It is called a mud puddle.
After a while I got the great idea of shooting it up. I went out and bought a box of needles (at this time it was easy to get needles, all you had to do is go to your nearest Walmart). After I did this it was a end game from there. I just lost control and started doing it like crazy.
Before you know it my money is gone and the heroin was gone.
This is when I realized I have gotten myself into trouble. As the opiates slowly left my body I started to get cold and shiver so I would cover myself up and then get to hot. I started sweating and my sweat had a distinct smell to it. My wife and I both ended up feeling this way on and off for the next 8 years. In and out of Jail and just lost focus on life.
I have been sober now for over 5 years and I love life and have a new born little boy and I can not be more happy. I am still with the same woman and we have both been sober for the same amount of time.
If you really want it you will find a way to get clean. You always think there is no way out and you have burned to many bridges but you have not and there are people out there that love you and want you to help yourself. Find peace and find a way out.
Also you can not force a addict to go to rehab or wherever and get help. He/she must want it and you can only be there with them while they go through there journey.
During these hard times it seems easy to go back to old ways. It is not worth it and if you are feeling some kind of way please reach out and I will do my best to talk to you.
Everyone stay safe and keep your head up. The sky is the limit.