Even if you love someone, you cannot necessarily share a life as a couple with that person. This is something that I came to accept, observing very objectively the events that have occurred in my life during the last five years, or more, in relation to the father of my daughter. Without a doubt he has been the person who brought the greatest lessons to my life experience and thanks to everything I have lived with him I have come to know myself better.

Since I was a child I wanted a love like those seen in the movies, and in many ways I experienced those emotions with him. I can say that in many moments my dream came true, I can say that I knew love and happiness as a couple. Until we started to face many blocks against which I tried to fight in different ways.

Reality told us that although we loved each other, liked each other and were very compatible in many things, we were also very incompatible in regard to the way each of us want to live. My way of fighting this was trying to adapt to his ways, voluntarily, thus trying to save the relationship and preserve the good things, but that never lasted for long because it was unsustainable. Every time I forced myself to do or be something that I didn't really want to, I ended up exploding in some way or he felt my discomfort and felt bad about me or about himself.

Sometimes I thought that he was the problem because of his self-destructive behaviors and selfish attitudes, and sometimes I thought that I was the problem because of not being able to inspire him to change or not being able to set limits or control him (as I have seen other women manage to do), or for not being able to meet their expectations.

Now I understand that neither of us was the problem, but that each one is as it is, each one lives the experience how one wants and prefers to live it. He has the right to live a kind of life that provides him with material security, with a steady job, a fixed salary, a partner who knows how to set limits and who has all her focus on him. While I came to understand that the fact that our relationship worked or not was not only my responsibility, that I also have the right to live the life I want, without a fixed salary, developing my projects and without feeling responsible for anyone more than myself (and my children).

Still I can say that I loved him very much, even though we are no longer a couple or live together, because I see parts of myself in him and I will always feel grateful for what we were able to share and for the beautiful daughter that we now have.

To love is to take the other as part of yourself, and in reality you can love all people, or any person, since we are all part of the divine matrix; but deciding to share your life with someone is something different.

P.S. The photo was taken on a trip to the beach we took with our children (his son from a previous relationship and my son from a previous relationship, before our daughter was born).