In life, change is necessary. The need to improve is always a constant work.

In my younger years, as an only kid, I always keep to myself. In doing so, I managed to accept that there would be days that I would be left alone, and so I developed a way to enjoy my own company. I developed my instinct and my imaginations. Most of the time,I plot scenarios in my mind and create a story of my own. I use my toy soldiers to fight with each other. I've created legions and armies hiding in the box I imagined to be a mountain full of rebels.And when my toy trucks arrived full of soldiers to conquer the rebel camp. This has been a new normal to me.

There are times when I go out and play with the kids in the neighborhood, but it would always be disaster.I would end up going home with black eyes as I buy every argument there is. I fight older kids for a mere raise of tone of voice.Those fights taught me a lesson. A lesson that ended me almost keeping to myself everyday to avoid fistfights. I became aloof with the outside world. I lose sight of developing an interpersonal social skills. In which I had so much regret during my adolescent years.Why? Because I can't seem to reach out and express my intentions very well. For instance, I had a crush on someone, the pretty girl in the classroom, I only ended up staring and unable to say anything.

Then again, as we grow older, we feel the need to get out of our cocoon, just like how butterfly emerge.Most often we need role models to look up to, for guidance.I happen to have role models too in the area I need the most improvement. Every month of May, my cousins from the city, would take vacations at our province.That's when I feel, I have allies. My cousin Roldan in particular is the same age as me. Born and raise in the city, he has this air of confidence. You can hear it when he talks, you can see it when with his body language. He talks to everyone no matter the age and status. I always admire his confidence.And so in the many months that followed, I always try to mimic his moves, the way he talks and even the words he utters. Everyday, I apply what I have observed.Everyday, I try to connect with other people. And little by little I learned to adapt. You know they say, "fake it until you make it". It has always been fake confidence that had me going thru times I don't have the courage to face a single conversation.

Years had passed. I am not faking confidence anymore. And yes, I learned and managed to get out of my covert behavior. Though there are still days when I feel like getting inside my man cave. At the very least I knew I can bounce back and take courage.Constant correct practice really makes perfect. Until then I will remain a selectively social. Cheers!

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@PajeeBear at Cent.co is one and the same @PajeeBear at Publish0x