Cor blimey, it's time for hoops. The British Basketball League (BBL) consists of 10 professional basketball teams in the United Kingdom. All teams also compete in 3 domestic competitions - the BBL Cup, the BBL Trophy and the BBL Play-offs. Throughout it all, the mascot sits supreme on the in-house entertainment pyramid. Chuck-a-Ducks or cheerleaders may come and go, but the costumed caper prancing around the stadium brings joy to the fans game in, game out. Mascots make magic.
Ranking System
All mascots make magic equally, but some are more equal than others. Let's rank these icons of the game. How are we ranking them? Using the M.A.G.I.C system below, scoring 1-10 in each category:
Material: Does the fabric look cheap, or does it fit the character?
Apparel: Do the clothes, accessories and extras belong or jut out?
Game-readiness: If needed, could the mascot be an emergency substitute for the team?
Interest: On a scale of beige suit to Cardi B circa 2019, how interesting is the whole get-up?
Coolness: Would I introduce them to my friends as a "cool cucumber" or an "uncool, unappealing cucumber"?
All rankings are my personal opinion and final. None square up to Benny the Bull. Long live the mascot!
The Mascots
10th - 1 point: Sheffield Sharks - ???
The Sheffield Sharks do not have a mascot. This automatically ranks them as dead last. They are mournfully looking on from the bench while the other e entrants do their thing. Rumours are circulating that their old mascot could be brought back when the Sharks move to a new stadium. Who is their OLD mascot? A vicious, basketball-playing shark, maybe? No...he was called The Dude. He was a surfer. Not a shark called Sharky. They earn their 1 point as their new mascot COULD be this imaginary shark.
9th - 25 points: Cheshire Phoenix - BiG Lupus 
Our first real mascot is a double agent. BiG Lupus is both the mascot for the local basketball AND football team. This duplicity knocks a couple of marks off. No, the random capitalisation isn't mine...BiG is the big storage company, BiG Storage. I could imagine fox fur looking like this. Can I imagine a better set of apparel? Yes, easily. How about a trench coat? Dress the fox in an onesie? Anything other than this. This lupus can leap into any game in a pinch. Beyond its game-readiness, I am not interested in its whole get-up.
8th - 30 points: Surrey Scorchers - Scorcher 
A mistaken addition to the list as this is a real dragon. How did the BBL allow this to happen? Caution advised: this mascot is a smoke show on the front row. Literally. This ain't the most impressive dragon you've seen. More Mushu than Smaug. Blue spandex is a plus for game-readiness but a minus for the overall look. I'm more interested in how the head stays upright during games than anything else. Overall I think the design is lacking some extra oomph...more like Scruff the Magic Dragon.
7th - 30 points: Newcastle Eagles - Swoop 
Soaring into the 7th spot, it's Swoop. This Geordie bird has moves as slick as all the Dirty Dancers in Dirty Dancing. The fabric almost looks bird-like. Almost. All black attire adds to the cool factor. This mascot would be able to do damage come game time through general squawk-ish behaviour. The attire and the costume feels like it matches better than Scorcher, breaking the tie there. Swoop looks too encumbered to be much use on the court however, curtailing it on the pecking order.
6th - 34 points: Manchester Giants - Manny 
How? How do you best describe Manny to a layperson? A dog that a grape ate? They are certainly a sight to behold. Not much information exists online about this creature, which adds to the mythos (and interest points!). I'm fully comfortable believing this is what aliens from Pluto have instead of pugs. They looks fluffy and vicious at the same time, much like an alien pug. Beyond the massive head, a sea of sports casual washes over you. Manny sports too much bagginess to be thrown into a game. A sole crooked tooth juts out from their mouth - this added a full 3 points for interest but minus 2 for coolness. Manny, return to your people amongst the stars.
5th - 34 points: London Lions - Louis the Lion 
Louis, a top mascot for a top team, looks like he would be a killer on the court. As a lion, I'm sure that comes naturally for him. A lion with a hat? Never has there been such a fashionable feline - only Alakay can give him a run for his money. Almost a perfect 10 for game-readiness - the hat would definitely fly off during games. I'd be more interested if the half-time show was Louis mauling the opposing fans. A lion is fitting for the manic, exhilirating circus that is the BBL. As the London Lions are the current ringleaders (while the Giants are the popcorn sellers of the league) they get 5th here. Their BBL Play-off Final at the O2 should be a roar-ing success.
4th - 35 points: Bristol Flyers - Freddie the Flyer 
With strong overall stats, Freddie the Flyer joins the fray. Wondering why they're called the Flyers? Previously, they were the Filton Flyers, and Filton was home to '100 years of flights' via the now-disused Filton Airfield. This mascot is just as historic, as they are the spitting image of a 1920s aviator. The apparel is so on-point it might as well be a needle. From the waist down they look game-ready; that's more ready than most on the list. Half-airman, half His Airness, Freddie doesn't NEED wings to fly! A can of Red Bull only slows him down! Soar Icarus, soar!!!
3rd - 40 points: Leicester Riders - Hotshot 
My hometown mascot is 3rd, that's how you know I'm not biased. A close 2nd for the best name on the mascot list, Hotshot does look like a horse mascot - positive start! All of Leicester's team mascots look like real animals, which is not something you can say about Manchester's teams. The white and red colour scheme has always been a favourite. The equine even has hooves! How can you not be interested in a horse standing on its hind legs...what talent! Even if it is much easier for a mascot horse than a real horse! The mouthpiece has always looked a bit off, negating the coolness, but Hotshot could easily play horsepower forward for the Riders.
2nd - 43 points: Caledonian Gladiators - Rocky 
Rocky was still active during the early stages of writing this article, but alas, all good things must come to an end. Some points are added for the final send-off to such a sturdy stalactite. Could I find out why Scotland's only professional basketball team mascot is a rock man? Probably. Am I going to? No, I'm instead going to say that it's because Scotland has a lot of rocks. Hours of design work have been put in to make Rocky look like a B-movie The Thing from Fantastic Four. The material both looks spongy and sturdy - a true mystery. He is already wearing the Gladiators' kit and setting picks like a brick wall is standard, so put him in the game already! Long live Rocky!
1st - 45 points: Plymouth City Patriots - Pat Riots 
Pat. Riots. The blur of blue fur from the home of piers stands peerless. Looking like a bizarro-version of Clifford the Big Red Dog, Pat has his look nailed down. Wearing the Patriots' kit is an easy apparel choice, but this time it reminds of Air Bud, the Michael Jordan of canines. Mr. Riots wears the number 99 on his jersey - the same number I so nearly rated them as. The tongue sticking out dampens the coolness factor but ups how likely opposing players will slip on the floor. A better home advantage can not be found. You're barking up the wrong tree if you think this ISN'T the best mascot!
(Mostly accurate as of 04/05/23)
