IJCH - Inside JaiChai's Head (meaning: My warped, personal opinions and musings)

From the Author

Salutations

I am JaiChai.

And if I haven't had the pleasure to make your acquaintance, it's very nice to meet you now.

Unlike my mother who loves the snow, the changing seasons and being a hobbit during the winter in New England, I never enjoyed it.

Thank God, my father was transferred to southern Florida when I was eight years old. Then later, after I joined the military at the ripe old age of 17, I was stationed in California, Hawaii, Japan and the rest of Asia.

During my training I had to periodically perform hypothermia threshold drills.

Picture this.

I and my teammates, arms interlocked, are clad only in our khaiki-colored UDT dive shorts, laying on the wave-to-the-beach line, head first towards the waves - at sunset.

The waves would wash over our bodies, then recede back to the ocean. Then the chilling wind would blast painfully freezing air over our bodies from head to toe. And this cycle continued until one of us cramped up from the whole body shivering or passed out.

Why?

Who knows?

All I knew was that some guy in a parka-thick, white lab coat would time how long it would take for me to uncontrollably shiver, become incoherent and eventually go delerious - not being able to add 3 + 7 and hallucinating sea monsters and sexy mermaids.

Ironically, when I endured cold water many, many times during real ops, I was actually grateful for that training.

One time in Glasgow, Scotland, I was tasked to don a dry suit and inspect the hull of an old submarine - during freakin' winter!

Why?

It was an unofficial punishment for "accidentally sleeping with the niece of my Commanding Officer" - (long, stupid story).

Anyway, I was so focused on satisfying this f*cked-up penance as fast as possible that I didn't notice a small tear in my dry suit before it was too late.

Luckily, the tenders of my air and the diving supervisor noticed that I missed two comm checks and reeled me in via my safety lines.

I woke up in a military hospital, post fatal hypothermia. Yes, you read that right - fatal.

The four minute+ flat line EKG is just another souvenir of death in my collection (others include evidence of lethal electrocution and drowning).

I guess my inherent, unusually long breath hold ability came in handy, no?

As an aside, I can tell you from personal experience, "When you die - at least in my case - there is no freakin' light!"

But I must confess, there is a glorious absence of pain.

Does that mean I have no soul?

So, again I say, I hate the cold!

Namaste,

JaiChai

About the Author

He is a retired U.S. Military veteran. Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an AA, BS and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life – while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic. In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he freefall parachuted out of airplanes and performed diving ops in very deep, open ocean water.

He spends his days on an island paradise with his teenage daughter, longtime girlfriend and three dogs.

Parting Shot

Just can't help it.

This makes me laugh every time I look at it!