For the background context, this writing is based on a discussion of the Dick Pic Locator™ tool, specifically if anyone would use it.

In order to protect the identities of the participants (who have consented to have their words reproduced here), names have been changed. The main discussion primarily takes place between two people, who I shall name Jenna and "Well-intentioned privileged white male" (WIPWM), with others chiming in. The intent of this post is not to question or disparage anyone's character, but to draw attention to the points Jenna (our protagonist for this piece) raises and which are supported by Mythical Woman and Colourful Attraction (supporting characters).

Seeing as this is based on a conversation that actually happened, I've written it as if it's a scene from a play.

[Enter WIPWM (a racist and anti-feminist), Jenna, et all]

WIPWM: It would take one ANGRY person to track down someone's momma LOL

A femme dom: I know, right?! ROTFLOL!

WIPWM: [Responding to a prior comment] Well, recently with the Zoom calls where men are unsolicitatingly [sic] entering Zoom classes of prepubescent children and flashing their cocks, those should be reported and tracked down and destroyed.

Someone Else: Well, yes of course. Those are the armpits of society who are doing that.

The Educated Porker: I think a lot of men who post unsolicited dick pics are not evil, they're just a bit thick. Don't destroy their jobs, marriages and lives because they lack empathy and intellect ... Just block and report.

Jenna: [to WIPWM] It is angering to have strangers violate us, and it's the norm. I'm tired of it. You say that it would take a really angry person. Why is the lowest common denominator as the norm allowed? Why doesn't this make more people angry?

The fact that this happens to all girls and women regularly is a problem. It's a problem because it means that men feel comfortable sending images to strangers that they don't want to see, and have no compunction — where are the guys who think, "Maybe she's not turned on by this, and even so, SHE'S A PERFECT STRANGER"?

People don't seem to get that it's not just that it's a picture of a penis. It's what it signifies — a culture of men who are willing to cross boundaries on the off-chance that they'll get off. Because there are no consequences.

Jenna: [to The Educated Porker] I like the idea of their families and colleagues knowing what and who they really are. If it would ruin their lives to have people find out that they do this, maybe they shouldn't be sending the photos.

It has to do with violating people and crossing their boundaries. It's not because it's a penis per se.

The Educated Porker: [to Jenna] Actually, you're right ... Destroy the disgusting bastards!

WIPWM: [to Jenna] You're looking for a debate when there is none. Sure, in a perfect world, prosecute them if you wish. In the imperfect world we live in, however, it would be laughed out of court.

Normal functioning people block and move on; because they have better things to do with their time. [invalidating]

The angry/crazies: just as crazy as the people who send dick pics sit and dwell on it.

Jenna: [to The Educated Porker] I know I'm right. I don't need your faux-patronization, either.

I'd like to send you pics of bloody tampons periodically (pardon the pun) over the course of 4 weeks. You'll never know when you get one or on what platform.

You would not last two weeks before having a shit-fit.

YOU are not accustomed to being treated like an orgasm dispenser or an ego prop.

YOU are not accustomed to being treated like a second-class citizen.

So it's easy for you to trivialize it.

[Exchange between Jenna and The Educated Porker has been redacted, as this part of the discussion (about his fetishisation of periods) is not relevant to this post.]

Mythical Woman: Flashing is illegal. Unsolicited genital pics should be the same. Some states in the USA have made it illegal to send unrequested genital photos.

Jenna: [to WIPWM]

You're looking for a debate when there is none.

No, I'm not. There's not a debate. It's not acceptable.

Sure, in a perfect world, prosecute them if you wish. In the imperfect world we live in, however, it would be laughed out of court.

Really? Maybe you should tell that to Anthony Weiner. I didn't say anything about prosecution. I said their families and colleagues knowing what they do is. I'm about consequences.

Normal functioning people block and move on; because they have better things to do with their time.

You don't get to decide what is important and what isn't. You constantly trivialize things that the women in this group indicate don't sit well with them. It's easy for you, you don't have to deal with it. [Ed: This, gentlemen, is one of the problems of male privilege and anti-feminism.]

They used to say the same stupid thing to rape victims, "just get over with it, no one will believe you. It happens all the time, just get on with it." Same with racial bigotry. "Getting upset won't change it". Wrong. When people stand up and say, "This isn't acceptable", changes are made. That's been the case for every major change the world has seen.

The angry/crazies: just as crazy as the people who send dick pics sit and dwell on it.

Someone help me out here. You think someone who is bothered by being repeatedly flashed by strangers is crazy to be tired of it? The same as someone who thinks it's OK to treat women this way?

That both you boys minimize this just proves everything I said. [Ed: To those who'd like to point out that Jenna is guilty of infantalisation here: Given that she's angry and making valid points, let the short-hand slide. She's on the side of a minority group here.]

Jenna: [to Mythical Woman] Thank you. It seems that the Ball Busting Sisters have to rock the boat again.

WIPWM: [to Jenna] Look, if you are willing to spend the time or energy or even space in your brain thinking about these dummies then more power to you.

What they do is wrong! I agree; it's just foolish to think that it's going to change; especially on a fetish site. [Ed: mansplaining/discrediting.]

Jenna: [to Colourful Attraction, quoted part redacted] That no one sees it as serious proves the whole point. That we live in a world that accepts the treatment of women like this.

Normalizing a violation is what this is.

Jenna: [to WIPWM] I didn't think we were talking about Fratlife specifically. I thought we were talking about "in general". [Ed: We were. But yes, that site won't do anything to change.]

I don't expect you to put yourself out there for the sake of women's safety.

It's not foolish. It's actually the trend, even in a backwards place like Texas. Welcome to the future.

WIPWM: [to Jenna]

I don't expect you to put yourself out there for the sake of women's safety.

Tell me, what else can I do other than tell a dude he's an idiot for doing it and not do it myself? [Ed: A valid question, unfortunately not touched on here. The short answer: activism, campaigning against it]

I am not a lawmaker; I work in making what the physicists theorize work in the real world, not in law!

Colourful Attraction: [to Jenna]: I agree to an extent, but I don't think a single dick pic warrants loss of employment or the contacting of law enforcement (they have bigger fish to fry). Will I block and report the person to the site that I am on? Yes.

Jenna: [to Colourful Attraction] Yeah, because you're used to it. It's the same way Black people used to be called the N word. People used it in regular conversation. Now we acknowledge that it's not acceptable. Kyle Larson got canned for using the word. And we all know what happened to Don Imus.

If someone loses their job for knowingly and willingly sending an unsolicited picture of their genitals, it's because it's wrong. Why should men who behave that way be protected? If they're grownups, they need to be held accountable for doing something unacceptable. He has a six-figure income; he needs to act like it.

Now, if they're little boys, then we have to forgive their transgressions.

Your attitude is that they can have their cake and eat it, too. It's part of the "boys will be boys" trope.

As far as law enforcement, I don't know how that works, but it wasn't what I had in mind.

Colourful Attraction: [To Jenna, nodding] There is merit to your perspective. I can appreciate it.

He has a six-figure income, he needs to act like it.

Are you referencing someone specific? (Haven't read all replies)

Jenna: [to Colourul Attraction] Nope, no one specific. I mentioned Anthony Weiner, but I have zero idea how much a congressional salary is.

WIPWM: [to Colourful Attraction] Oh she was sending a little jab my way (maybe) but it's all good because I've studied the Mayweather school of defensive boxing and that shit just rolled off my shoulder. LOL. [Deflection, minimising, getting defensive]

WIPWM: Oh okay; Anthony Weiner, my mistake.

Can we all at least appreciate the hilariousness of the name/crime? LOL

I'm sorry but that name matched with that crime is a bit funny.

However of course he should not have ever done what he did.

To a minor though; that is not funny. I just looked up more specific details.

Mythical Woman: [to WIPWM] Of course not. But the chorus of people saying he "just got carried away" or it wasn't "that big of a thing" [Ed: pun not intended?] kind of set the tone for how it's perceived when done by others.

WIPWM: [to Mythical Woman] Well, I get it. I really do. No one wants to see a random dick pic. LOL

However; First World Problems. [more mansplaining/discrediting]

Not much that I personally can do about it since I'm not a lawmaker. Besides, just discourage it when I see it and of course not do it myself (which that goes without saying). [The old "shifting the blame"/pushing the buck behaviour]

Jenna: [to Colourful Attraction] What a jerk. [Ed: Weiner, not WIPWM (although he is)] I think the ones that sit the highest think they're untouchable. Like Weinstein; thought he could creep on all those women for decades.

That's my point, though, WIPWM. Women in Hollywood accepted that this man who controlled so much could rape them and hurt them, because everyone said, "It's just what happens in this town, you have to learn to live with it".

Until someone decided that it wasn't.

It's not the penis pic — we all know what it looks like. It's that men who do that don't feel like they need to consider how the receiving party feels. After all, we're used to being harassed, and cat-called and flashed. It's another symptom of the disease, so to speak.

It's that this sort of thing has been normalized in our world. And it should not be the norm. And it was not always the norm. So I don't feel wrong in saying that it's not OK.

WIPWM: [to Jenna, with Jenna's quote redacted] I can definitely see your point of view. Of course, on that subject, Weinstein was a snake. [Ed: Preaching to the choir]

So you're coming at it with a cultural problem/attitude in mind? Coming at dick pics with that mindset?

Jenna: Having a spoon instead of chopsticks with Chinese takeaway is a First World problem. Not having your preferred brand of toilet paper available is a first world problem. Having a day at the beach ruined by rain is a first world problem. Getting cabin fever during a quarantine is a first world problem.

Women all over the world being disrespected as a norm happens everywhere to every woman. Being treated like a second class citizen who's a pain in the ass because she feels she deserves dignity: not a first world problem!

It should not be a luxury to want to feel safe.

That's what I mean about it (sending dick pics) not being the disease, but a symptom. I'm trying to explain that I think it's an issue in the context of the way we see this type of behavior. [The problem is misogyny as encouraged by Patriarchy, for those who still don't understand.]

A nasty pic doesn't really do anything but ruin your day at worst. But it's not about the pic. It's not about a penis. It's about the attitude that it's OK to be disrespectful of what a woman wants because we're used to being violated, having our boundaries disregarded.

When people do that, it's an indicator of the culture of our climate. That's why I think it's irresponsible to say "just ignore".

For example, a funky mole is really just ugly if we're looking at it in terms of appearance. That's superficial, no biggie. But we don't address it just because it's an eyesore — we address it because it can mean cancer. It's not the mole itself — it's what the mole could mean.

Mythical Woman: It's a symptom, a big symptom, of the "boys will be boys" phenomenon and girls/women just have to smile and ignore it.

A little boy punches a girl when they are eight and his action is brushed off and she's told he did it because he likes her. At 12, he cat-calls her and his behavior is "just how boys act  and she's told to ignore it, it's a compliment. At 17, he slaps her ass in the hallway, and he's told with a wink and a nod to "not do that" and she's given a dress code violation, because obviously she instigated the whole thing. At 19, he sends out dick pics unsolicited and she's told to just ignore them. At 21, he has sex with an unconscious woman behind a dumpster and the court is worried about how this rape will impact his future. Because of course the woman he raped drank too much, shouldn't have danced with him, and, hey, what did she expect would happen?

A pervasive, insidious attitude that he can't help himself or his behavior is okay, and she's wrong and over-reacting is all too common. We have a society where many young men are both implicitly and overtly told their actions are okay [(but women's are not)]. They aren't taught basic decent behavior. We have a society where women are taught that they/we have no real rights to bodily autonomy and that if some men treat them badly or in unacceptable ways, they should "just suck it up" [(which is itself a pejorative phrasing)].

And we wonder why we have Harvey Weinstein types, sexual assault, domestic abuse, and worse.

Me: Yeah, rape culture is sickening, to say the least.

Do SlutWalks still happen regularly? I've not seen much (other than #metoo) to indicate that they do, but that could be the press getting tired of something when it's no longer novel.

Hodgesargh! The Falconer:

 "At 21, he has sex with an unconscious woman behind a dumpster"

There was no sex. Sex is consensual. That was rape. You cannot "have sex with" someone who does not/cannot consent.

Mythical Woman: No fucking shit! That was the whole point. In his mind it was sex. Read the whole thing. Read the whole paragraph.

[Ed: This conversation meandered on further, but the important portion has been reproduced here. Exit Stage Left]

Thank you, "Jenna" and co, for your words (and consent to publish them).

Note: Please see "Is My Picture's Metadata safe?" for why this tool will not work with images on Fartloaf (which verifiably strips metadata from uploaded images).