Last time, we explored how to talk in a conversation.

In this post, we will examine the opposite - when not to talk, or simply when to listen and when to end a conversation.

Let us first investigate the easier matter of when to end a conversation:

• If you are no longer able to concentrate on the conversation, nor follow it. This is a good time to exit as the other party will normally notice that you're not following which could appear rude and offend them.
• If you start to become offended by what they are saying. This may sound obvious, but I've seen countless people stay in the conversation because they are 'polite' and then get into an argument with the other person, making both sides unhappy. Remember the goal is to make friends, not enemies. If you can't tolerate the other person's manner, exit the scene. It's better to not make a potential friend than to make an enemy.
• If the other person looks bored or uninterested. There are two options here, exit or change the subject

Ok, now when should we listen?

• Always listen when the other person talks but this does not have to be concentrated listening. As you listen, make a list of the things that interest you in the conversation. If you get bored, change the subject to one of those things, so the subject change does not seem random.
• If a person starts explaining something, or talking about a previous experience, let them talk about it, do not interrupt. If they stop, give them prompts to continue, or relate to it with your own experience, but make sure they are still mainly leading the conversation. It is often uncomfortable to for a person to 100% lead a conversation and then suddenly become a listener.

One last tip, when not to start a conversation?

• When passing people in corridors, a light greeting suffices. Do not stop to start a conversation in the middle of the corridor, especially if it is busy. Also, the other person using the corridor probably has to get somewhere so the conversation would be very short.

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