I have spent many years trying to understand the world. One thought drove me back to my childhood. I sat arguing with a person we were both strong at body and heart. Debating that society is driven between sticking together or making a buck. I have to bow out. Society will stick together but it isnt by any other means than to make a buck. And when all is said and done. That society will go back for seconds. So to say I lost this debate and it took me 16 years to realize is somthing that shows my mind my body my wits were strong I hoped for a resolve and I found it in the less likely ave. That your understanding although it may have come from an elder far exceeds my own philosophy. To you I remember. To anyone who reads. May understanding grow through this debate the debate of a chavarrin.

Jun 18th, 2022

The answer to corruption power and small town living.

I contimplated a gentleman's bet and a possible premature apology. 

I looked at Vincent van gouges painting. Contimplation my own life and lives lived. 

I drifted to a time where I was given a contract labeled as a gift for a million dollars and was told my own offspring would be taken, knowing the matter what the world became. As Vincent small town grew and any of those people he grew to know disappeared or died. Then wondering he found new peace to paint others as to grasp the solace that new worlds bring to the age within understanding. I then gave that million dollars to spend every moment that offspring would and was violated by possible suiters to hear the screams and collect the heartache and pain. To hear the breath and story and retain that offsprings happiness within of pleasant times aswell as inherit the negative. Knowing I would never see anything but the echos of agony. Signed by the good and bad as a token of money spent within contractual agreement. Yet none held true the government which allowed such things to happen. Or those who gave and accepted the money back and drew the contract up.

Upon signing was given the location and suiters. Then after was killed and did nothing but what was prompted by the beneficiaries of my legal tender. 

This sounded and prompted past and future meanings as I write this from the present.

That corruption and power will overtake to the point where small town is no more. Yet bribing is a choice to give or take. 

When others accept the money only to see the carnage and travisty of a world written before it was. Knowing it's only to see the ones they love will never be alone in a moment when there's nothing but fear. To guide them through the darkness and empower the next life to do slightly better. There isn't corruption. Only love between the only community that matters those you would share your world with. That to share breath and you would give anything to spend a moment to hear the last and first over and over. And to give at most yourself so within powerless you become powerful. Society grows and numbs to chaos. Those who remain close will remain, as like gravitate toward like. This corruption like this font easily erased when white or dark reveal the nature. Honoring words only matters when others honor money. Either way when no person honors either. The purpose of debate no longer matters. Question would any person give a million dollars to hear the blood of there loins scream in terror knowing you could not do anything. Just to feel the breath even if you could not touch that breath. That love only matters when people sit back and know life is meaningless without someone to hold, and share the only place that matters. That everyone's meaning is close just not ideally true. That dark truths remain until truth is only a new form of the old and the old deemed nothing to fade as the meaning of right and wrong. Who will hold truth; to any of the first words; knowing the first words become meaningless without honor. Or powerless when money is no longer the answer. Or breathless when there's no life to hold dear. And eventually the root hold no weight or meaning without purpose.

In short a guy can be a buck a girl can be a coin. Yet there only worth something, when your willing tO hold on to them And worth only what your memories and mind says their worth. As youth money is money. As we grow we realize we are the money. Computers, people, legal tender. Living only to pretty instead of pray and yet pray together as a prey vs. a prey, disregarding nothing, and everything is sake of happiness not currency. As word with no truth. That friend family or self we are worthless in the eyes of others.