They may never understand...and neither do I

By 0xGenuine | Faith Hope & Love | 26 Mar 2020

During my early years as an adult I found myself quite confused and quite honestly...completely lost. I was only nineteen years old and I had just recovered a few weeks prior from an overdose that caused me to experience quite a Hellish NDE. It was after this experience that I felt it was my destiny to become a pastor and help Shepard those who needed guidance from a lifetime of sure destruction. After all even as a young kid I always was told time and time again from many of my friends and coworkers that I was a voice of reason in their lives. I believe it had a lot to do with my level of openness which in hindsight seemed to get me into a lot of trouble too. I wore my heart of my sleeve and for this very reason which I will cover in a later blog caused myself a lot of unnecessary suffering and quite honestly I found myself in situations where my kindness was often taken for granted or used by others for their own selfish advantage.

It was my first year in ministry school and at nineteen I was unprepared for the rude awakening that was Religion. I started to settle myself into campus living and meet all of the other students attending school; I realized rather quickly that we all loved Jesus but who Jesus was and his message largely remained subjective to the upbringing and communities each student came from including my cousin who attended as well. How could this amazing man Jesus and his teachings be so difficult to understand? For me and to this day my faith was built unconditionally on the teachings and parables of Jesus, however I found myself confronted with heavy laden dogmas and religious ideologies that were no different than what the Pharisee's and Sadducee's led others to often follow when Jesus walked the Earth. Instead of seeing people living a truly liberated life like Jesus promised I saw many people bound to chains, including myself as I continued to look deeper and question my own foundations and convictions. It was apparent at this time in my life that there was something far greater to behold and I realized very quickly years later that many would search for a lifetime and never truly find salvation because with religion it doesn't exist. Only following "The Way" truly led one to the Cross and truly set those held captive from their bondage.

It was 1st Corinthians 13 that I can honestly say began my journey down the rabbit hole of seeking and questioning my entire foundation and the eventual understanding of who Christ truly was and is:

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have LOVE, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have LOVE, I gain nothing.

LOVE is patient, LOVE is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

LOVE never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and LOVE. But the greatest of these is LOVE."

"What is love?" That's a good question and out of the three things one must remain in, love was the greatest of all. I know how to love I thought foolishly, but do I really know what love truly is? Have I ever truly been loved or even loved someone else? It nagged at my soul and I spent many nights sleepless at this very thought. the beginning of the rabbit hole!

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Faith Hope & Love
Faith Hope & Love

My name is Joshua, I am a follower of The Way of Jesus. During my early adult years I attended ministry school and began the journey of discovering the roots of my faith. In doing so, I found myself shattering the religious shackles my faith had been bound to; spending a good time wandering in the desert. Over the years however my questions and searching led me to finally understand who Jesus was and why he is so important for the world to understand. In Him we live and move and have our being.

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