I only said “I love you” once to my form class last year. I didn’t even plan to; the words came tumbling out of my mouth when I was asked to go home immediately because my student from another class had gotten Covid. It happened 1-2 days before their monumental Primary School Leaving Examination, the worst timing yet. I still remember how my voice almost broke during that moment of vulnerability. It was an emotionally charged moment, to say the least.

Yet today, I found myself saying “I love you” so many times, almost as casually as drinking plain water, to the boy who kept getting himself into trouble and whose life seemed to be spiralling out of control faster than I could imagine. Slow down, kiddo! Your teacher needs to breathe. I don’t expect my saying “I love you” would cause him to pause and refrain from impulsivity but it’s all right. Amidst my exasperation, I recognise that he is a decent kid at heart. I need him to know that because maybe he doesn’t believe it himself.

The cutest thing was that he said “I love you too” each time I said it, with nary a hint of self-consciousness, like the words just rolled off his tongue. His trouble-making antics hinder my work flow, for sure, but it’s also nice to encounter him at this awkward child-teen stage, where he desperately needs to feel loved and express love.