Sirwin
Sirwin

Depression is not a joke, it does not pass like the flu and it is a serious illness plus my short explanation of how I feel about it.

By dadazi | dadazi | 28 Mar 2023


First, I want to say that some people do not understand, do not want to, do not care, or choose not to believe but depression it is an illness.
So I want to give 2 facts.
Fact 1: Depression is the most common mental disorder in the world.
Fact 2: Depression affects nearly 280 million people globally.
There are several types of depression, around 9 and some say even 10.
I personally suffer from two types, severe acute depression and persistent depressive disorder(when depression is 2 years or longer, and in my case it is over 8 years).
Here are some of my symptoms so people can understand and at the same time I want to bring awareness.
Many times I sleep too much and sometimes too little.
Every single day I feel fatigued, and I have no energy whatsoever (altho I tried a lot of vitamins and vitamins complex).
My appetite has changed so much that I only eat once a day and nothing in between and sometimes I do not eat at all but that is rare since I have problems with my stomach so I need to eat or it hurts like hell but I don't enjoy eating.
My self-esteem is low well pretty much it is almost gone or doesn't/barely exist.
I have trouble concentrating and many times I forget things.
I am feeling hopeless and have no hope in anything involving life.
Most days I feel tense or restless.
Sometimes I have panic attacks (i used to have more and more frequent).
I do not go out of the house unless I have to or am forced by a certain situation(we are getting into April and I went out 3 times out of the house this year).
And I could go on but this is what I think most important facts.
If you feel like I do, go see a specialist.
I had to see a lot of specialists, to get rid of my suicidal thoughts(if you are wondering, the answer is yes, I tried).
I have experimented with around 50 types of medicine till I found the right one to get rid of these thoughts mentioned above.
If you are wondering if I became addicted to pills, the answer is yes.
Without pills, I can not control my panic attacks and can not sleep at all.
If you are wondering how many pills I take per day, the answer is 12 but sometimes it goes to 14 because I have to take some protection for my liver, heart, kidney, and stomach.
Also, I have to mention that if you do not know or understand depression, it can be compared to PTSD(post-traumatic stress disorder).
For a long time, a wanted to write something about depression but forgot to write or didn't feel like it.
This time I was more forced to and here is why.
It has to do with my previous post.
Short story, my dad died last year on 21 November and since then my mom has gotten worse cause she has a stent implant, osteoporosis, thyroid problems, and Hashimotto disease.
So, I made I post asking for help and after that, I made a crowdfunding page for her and posted it on Twitter and pinned it.
The amount of hate I got it is unbelievable and the messages I got, you can imagine.
I was called all kinds of names and now I am labeled as a beggar.
al this because, well I am begging for help for my mom.
And I want to ass somethings so you can understand why I was forced to ask and make this crowdfund.
I can not work, besides the depression and all the symptoms it brings, I have problems with my stomach, with my colon,2 of my column rings are very damaged and the worst I cannot do an effort with my right arm because I lose feeling in al my arm at the minimum effort, even as I write now, I have to take some small breaks because once I lose the feeling, it hurts for 4-5 days and I mean it hurts and I also I get tired very easy in general.
I tried everything I can think of to gather money for my mom and to no use.
After losing my dad, you can imagine how I feel considering that she takes care of me and I have no one else.
After I was diagnosticated, all my friends left me, no calls in 8 years the same goes for my relatives, no one even calls for my birthday because I am labeled as a crazy person(that's the mentality here).
And another thing that hurts each day is that we did not afford to make a proper cross for my dad's grave because we just can not afford it.
I apologize that I went from one thing to another but I always am sincere and write what I feel and think on the spot, I do write and edit, and when I feel I can write I just write and post.
I am sure that after all, I have said, some will still choose not to believe.
I think in life it is all about choosing to believe, to help, and so on.
I guess I am just another crazy person or just another beggar, right?
Well, at least I know in my heart that, in spite of all people say, I am an honest person.
And to finish off, I do not expect that someone would come and help me out or something like that, miracles do not happen and I think they are just some eutopic thing.
Maybe, after all, I said, some will choose to believe and also maybe I can help someone(even one person is a big thing).
Thank you for your time.
Altho I have no expectations, I will leave my crowdfunding page.
https://gogetfunding.com/do-you-care/

(USDT) ERC20

0x8Bb379fe6d940903cb9eaaE5C5d6E55B1Ab4E459

Also, you can track it down thru the direct link to Etherscan:

https://etherscan.io/address/0x8Bb379fe6d940903cb9eaaE5C5d6E55B1Ab4E459

Or Paypal(since is the only app available in the EU) and I wish it can be seen transparently as a crypto address

[email protected]

I also have Revolut:

@dadazi 

revolut.me/dadazi

I hope I did not offend anyone with what I have said and if I did, it was not intentional and I apologize.

Please take my story as it is and not choose to interpret it in any other way than it is.

I wish all who see this health and peace of mind.
Have a great day or night.

 

 

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dadazi
dadazi

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