So I Watched Civil War


... and I found it empty.

The storyline could have been interesting, but instead the director played up too many standard stereotypical arcs, creating basically a two-hour waste of time.

How so? Well let's go through the list:

  • The core character crew is thrown together by momentary accident and necessity.
  • Half the group knows each other by years of salty experience.
  • There's one newbie who takes too many risks and gets everyone in danger and some killed.
  • Some of the core team gets killed.
  • The bad guy is a politician dictator who is going to die in the end.
  • Lots of guns.
  • Lots of manual fighting even though today's urban battlefield would generally be a decimated field of rubble.
  • Everyone is using film cameras when the reality in 2024 is digital cameras.
  • The journalists don't care (but they really care after all).
  • The rookie survives and becomes a heartless experienced player.
  • The bad guys are literally copy-pasta'd out of a backwater El Salvadorean death squad, complete with a back country pit full of dead bodies.
  • Characters with foreign accents get killed first (kind of like the red shirt guys in Star Trek episodes).
  • No one has a clue how the Civil War started but California and Texas are rebellious, of course.
  • The people in safe zones are all suburban and white, and the people who become refugees are all minorities. 

And the list goes on. I literally ended up trolling the Internet halfway through the movie because I got so bored. The concept of Civil War was timely but the effort was completely dropped in the first five minutes and never salvaged. What a waste of film, actor's time and everything else. Worse, I can't get those two hours back in my life. dammit.

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WinterYeti
WinterYeti

A professional freelance writer for the last 20 years and a budding photographer by hobby.


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