Sirwin
Sirwin

Who am I?

By Conny Manero | connymanero | 27 Apr 2020


My name is Anna and I’m an outcast of society because I’m ugly. Really, I am. This is not an opinion I hold of myself, I’ve come to this conclusion based on people’s reaction when they see me. Some merely frown, others recoil at the sight of me, while some actually run away.

Then I sit there, wondering, why was I created such an ugly creature, so repulsive? To make matters worse, I don’t have anyone to talk to. I have no family and my friends are few and far in-between.

In all honesty, not everyone is horrified at the sight of me, some actually like me. But I’m not keen on them either. They don’t really like me, it’s more a case of fascination. I was captured a few months ago and confined to a tiny space. The man who took me away brought people over to look at me. They stood there, gazing at me, frowning, shivering all over. One of them actually said ‘Good Lord, I’ve never seen anything so hideous.’ The others nodded. ‘It’s the stuff of nightmares’ another said.

This made me so sad, so horribly, horribly sad. Why couldn’t I be beautiful, cute, or at the very least attractive?

This only goes to show how big a liars people are when they say ‘Looks are not important’ or ‘The inside is more important than the outside’ ... hm, what a joke that is. If it’s all about inner beauty, why do people spend thousands of dollars on their hair? Cutting it, curling it, straightening it, coloring it. Why do they spend a fortune on makeup? While some women are relaxed about makeup, others wouldn’t dream to set foot outside without being properly moisturized and colored and glossed in all the right places. Why do they spend so much on clothes, shoes, and accessories? Let’s face it, the world belongs to the beautiful and everyone wants to be beautiful.

I want to be considered beautiful too. I want people to look at me, if not in admiration, at least with kind eyes. I want them to want to be my friend. I can be friendly, but nobody has ever bothered to get to know me, getting to know who I am on the inside. Nobody knows what I like or dislike, because nobody cares.

So I’m leaving. I’ve had enough of people’s disdain, of their looks of contempt, of their comments about my ugliness. I will walk away and I will be hiding. But I’ll still be watching. I’ll be there when people come and go, when they think they’re alone or having friends over. When they’re reading, writing, or watching TV. I’ll even be there when they’re sleeping.

My name is Anna and I am a spider.   

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Conny Manero
Conny Manero

I am the author of three novels and two children's books. I write for various online and print publications.


connymanero
connymanero

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