I must say, I’m getting sick and tired of people complaining about bullies and being bullied.
If anyone knows about being bullied, it’s me. As a teenager, I was bullied about my name (my legal name), my height (Eifel Tower), my frame (stick figure), my ears (Ms piggy) … you name it, my peers found something to make fun of. Almost day after day I was laughed at, ridiculed, hit and kicked.
Complaining didn’t help. The teachers turned a blind eye and my parents were of the opinion that I had to sort out my own problems. “School prepares for working life,” they told me. “If you let people walk all over you now, they’ll walk all over you when you’re grown up. So toughen up because you’re going to need it.”
I took mom’s words to heart and after a particularly horrifying experience, I decided that enough was enough. No more mister nice guy (or in my case, nice girl).
The next time the leader of the bullies came after me, I threw the first punch. It landed me two days suspension, but … I’d effectively sent the bullies a message … mess with me and you’re gonna get hurt.
More fights followed. If anyone dared to call me names, I no longer slunk away or cried in girls washroom, I faced my tormentors head-on and challenged them. Suddenly my height was to my advantage. When I approached them with a threatening “What did you just say?” while balling a fist at my side, my peers thought twice of repeating their words.
Within just one month I was no longer being bullied but became a bully. I got a reputation for being a tough one and those who were being bullied approached me with their problems and asked me to protect them. I didn’t have to do much. Merely purposefully walking up to those bullies was often enough to send them running.
I never considered myself to be a bully, but I did learn how to stand up for myself. Bullies are generally cowards who with words and actions intimidate others. Back down and they have you in the palm of their hand, challenge them and they’ll think twice about pestering you.
It’s the same in adult life. There will always be people trying to take advantage of you. Whether in the workplace, in traffic, on the train or bus, or even in social situations, there will always be those who test just how far they can push you. Let them get away with it and they’ll think you’re easy and a pushover, take a stand and you might just gain their respect or even be feared.
Crying and complaining don’t help, believe me, I’ve been there, but standing up for yourself and toughening up on the other hand does.
