These past few days, I am being emotional. It feels like depression is tormenting me again. Writing here while expressing my deepest emotion makes my problems lighter than the air and I can easily put myself back into pieces while trying to build a new life that will give me another chance to refresh everything.
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My vacation will come to an end very soon. After a few more days, our asynchronous class will start again and of course, my journey of stress and frustrations will undertake the process. Some Professors won't get the dilemma I am withstanding just to survive the semester. Imagine, having a poor Internet connection while having a discussion about Law on obligations and Contracts then after that, you will be having a surprise quiz. Because of this, I won't be able to catch up since I did not discern the course unless I will have my exploration. I never conversed with my classmates regarding our lessons since we can access all the information needed on our subjects through Google classroom, zoom, and whatever social media platform they are using to disseminate the lectures except for all the group projects. Nothing seems to be adequate due to the lack of explanation and concentration.
Last December when I resign to my part-time job. I certainly enjoy my four years of memories working there. I do love hardware stuff, I discover different processes and materials needed to build a house. Meeting Engineers, Architects, Carpenters, Construction workers, Agents, Businessmen, LGUs, and many more.
But the toughest problems that I confront is dealing with those types of customers, I need to comprehend skillfully just to match the idea they are visualizing and make some suggestions that will suit their taste. I'm not just a mere sales lady, every kind of work is hard but when you enjoy something that you are doing, you can feel the exaggeration of excitement every time you are doing it wholeheartedly.
It is not about them why I quit, It is because of the toxicity of the environment, I thought that it will be satisfactorily to refresh everything. I want my year 2021 to get another exploration of the world of others, such as the "crypto world " I want something new this year and challenge myself into different types of struggles in life. I want a new life for the reason that I will be facing this year as not a teenager anymore. Let's move forward.
In the realm of my world. I have a small circle of friends, but here I guess I can befriend everyone because no one will judge me (maybe my writing skills considering it sucks) someone said it to me that It is noteworthy to manufacture camaraderie in this community and I agree with that. They showered me with overpowering love and support and I am very gratified by their actions💗 you know who you are guys. But let's go-to reality where whenever I gave trust to someone, they instantly shattered it. I just remember this my so-called best friend, she understood my situation that we're not a damn rich family but I let her borrow some money from me but yeah until now she didn't settle with me. But she's bragging how well-off her life is by posting Instagramable images of her beautiful face. (She's kinda pretty so many of the people surrounding her was fooled) I know her, I understand her because I know she just wants fame but the fact that she's ignoring me now about the money she borrowed from me, I just want to know her reasons, of course, I will understand her because somewhat somehow we're mates. Hoping that she'll reply soon.
Strengths and weaknesses, Motivation and demotivation, Inspiration, and aspiration. What would it be? Your life, of course, source of energy and everything. Our dearest family makes us who we are now, they helped us to build a better interpretation of ourselves that makes us dominant now. Remembering the old days when you're still young, wild, and free hmm how are you now? Living better or worst? Anyways whatever your reason affects your family. You will never know how to walk and stand up without their guidance and support when you're still young.
Anyways I just can't sleep so I decided to write my deepest thoughts every midnight since I don't have anyone to converse with. Just another boring thoughts in the middle of the night. Goodnight everyone.
Let me add my cutie giphy to make it as one of my non-sense but make sense article 🙈 trying hard to type this on my phone. Again let us enjoy our life while we have it.
Thank you for reading, God bless😇