By can-amcitizen | can-am citizen | 14 Jun 2021

Today my wife is having a bad flare up day. This means that her MCS(multiple chemical sensitivity) is really bad. She is in bed right now getting some sleep at 6 pm . These type of days makes me appreciate the good ones where we are laughing together and talking excitingly about different things. When she gets a bad day : it means that all her nerves are in pain and she is short of breath and barely can walk to use the bathroom. She says it is like someone sucked the life down to the last ounce and left her at that point.Β  Yet everyday she gets up thinking that this day will be a good one, she laughs, jokes around and plans to do something with me smiling the whole time. She always is there when i think i am having a bad day , giving advice, telling that its ok and that i can accomplish anything i set my mind to. She tells me that if I believe in myself I will get it done, being my rock and shoulder to lean on. when at any second she can go into flare up and suddenly be at deaths door again. My WIFE is my HERO ,the one i look at everyday thanking the stars that i get to be with her at least one more day. She gives me hope, makes me be brave when i am scared to do or try something new or different. She makes my heart fill with love and she gives me precious memories that i will cherish forever.Β  When she sleeps and i am awake i will go into the bedroom and just quietly sit andΒ  look at her to make sure is she still breathing, thinking to myself I wish i could take her deceases away from her. Why does this happen to all the good people, i had to watch my father slowly die over a 7 year period . Slowly he lost the ability to do all the things he loved to do. So why do i have to watch my wife go down that same path. I pray for someone(doctor or someone else) to find an cure or at least give her more good days then bad. Ok , enough of this talk . Thanks for listening to me , this helps me to deal with it. this is my therapy now. She is awake now, so time for me to go, putting on my smile and being brave and her shoulder to lean on. Bye for now

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I am a 51 year man in a 20 year interracial relationship. So I have had my eyes opened for me with humanity. Nothing surprises me anymore.

can-am citizen
can-am citizen

writing about my interracial marriage, my A.D.D and life's challenges.

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