I learned a few things last night and this morning, two of which should have been ingrained into me already.

First lesson: Trust your instincts, they are usually right. Ever since I was a kid I would get “feelings” about situations or things that I was involved with. I couldn't know for sure what the outcome would be but something inside me would strongly suggest I go one way or another. It can be uncomfortable listening to this feeling but very rarely was it wrong. Unfortunately, more often than not I wouldn't listen. As happened last night. I was in a trade, I'm very new to trading, I have invested in the past but I have never speculated. So I'm in learning mode at the moment, playing with a very small investment of $10.00, well $7.60 after transfer and God knows what other fees. I jumped onto a coin called QLC, after a few hours it had made some modest gains but hadn't yet hit the target that I believed it would. That little voice though was telling me to sell, that it had run it's course and I should take what I had already made and be thankful. Nope. Didn't listen. I left it for a few more hours. Of course it had sunk to below what I paid.

This is where the second lesson should have kicked in. I've learned these past few weeks that panic selling is a very silly thing to do. Looking at my now diminished balance, down to $5.60, I freaked and sold, even though the voice was saying hang on hang on. I ignored not one but two lessons, listen to your instincts and don't panic.

Out of curiosity I checked the price again a few hours later and yes it had come back up, I have to trust myself, believe in myself. Anyway I moved on, bought some BNB with my remaining funds and started scalping. It was working really well, on my last trade I had moved back into profit, or so I thought. I hadn't pushed sell. I thought I did, in fact I would have sworn on a stack of any religious writings you care to choose that I had. Alas though I had not.

I started to berate myself, my anxiety levels were starting to push higher and higher.

“Breathe man” I told myself, think about this will you? This is no different to learning Ubuntu, how many times did you mess that up and have to start again? You're brand new at this, like you were at Linux but you eventually worked it out didn't you? I sat back down and took stock of where I actually was. Between the BTC that I forgotten to factor in and my BNB holdings I was actually in profit by $2.00. I had turned my $5.60 into $9.60 in the space of about 20 minutes. Still 40 cents under my initial deposit but $2.00 above what had actually gone into my account after fees.

I still feel stupid for missing that trade, no idea what happened but I do have things are in perspective now.

I'm learning. I need to trust myself. I need to implement the lessons I have learned and not continue to ignore them, if I want to reach my goal of retirement by the end of next year then I can't afford to ignore them. Trusting myself is, I feel, the greatest hurdle I am facing on this journey, if I can't defeat the doubt I have, the doubt in lessons that I have learned but won't implement, the doubt in myself then I won't ever move forward. The financial investment was minor in this case but the emotional one has been huge. Forcing a lesson to stick is very draining. I'm going to take a couple of days away from crypto and let this experience sink in, I'll trade again Monday my time, see if I can turn my $9.60 into $15.00. See if I can trust myself.......