If we allow ourselves to get lost within the complexities of the continuous situations and circumstances then yea, “Life Is Confusing!”
Lately things have been good, filled to the brim with concerns and activity yet good. I sit here wondering with this prompt, what changed? I use to be miserable all the time. Though the misery has subsided the empty feeling is still in there. The feeling less apparent now due to constant distractions filling the void of unrestful self loathing.
I find it nearly impossible to identify what exactly changed. I still struggle emotionally , have a tight budget, worry about poor my health. Seems as if things just don’t bother me so much. Somewhere between the time of moving into the place I am now after being evicted from our old place and quitting my career of 10 years something clicked. The click has been repetitive since. Like a reset of thought pattern my brain simply has enough of being concerned and maintaining that high level of stress and clicks. I feel like a different person each time it happens though in the moments not completely apparent to me.
I suppose somehow I learned to self regulate but not proactively like most. Nothing I do is ever a proactive regulation only more effort. I did start meditating regularly making it about finding myself but even that isn’t so drastic as the click. One day it’s on the next it’s off and I call it a click because it’s one or the other and no in between. Lately when life is confusing that click leaves me…