Picture of human monitored like an animal that is of a lesser degree compared to my situation. By Deep Dream Generator

Put into the cage of a police car... and more

By Lochard | Asylum Diary | 31 Jan 2024

Please don't feel bored. I am writing this in great distress. I don't enjoy writing this at all.

These entries were originally written for record, thus might not be reader friendly.


I applied for asylum 21 months ago here in Lithuania after leaving Hong Kong when I felt unsafe.

Written in the Pabradė foreigner’s registration centre
Vilniaus g. 4, 18178 Pabradė
31 January, 2024

other entries on github: 



Arrived at the Migration Department. There is blood at the entrance.

Although being told that I can get my passport, what happened was again the same: five days only, I am responsible for the court case that started without me, a slightly relevant article allows them refuse to let me leave... for how long already? Recorded me without telling me, mixed up things, no clarification, no time. Probably have more to count, but doesn't make much of a difference I guess.


Tried to find help from strangers. Got brought to sit in the cage of a police car. Asked if I had a choice not to sit inside the cage as I didn't do anything wrong. The answer was no and they would force me into it if I did't go inside myself. Later said to me something disregarding what I had already answered them. Took me to the train station at the end.




Recently explicitly told them that I feel tortured, which shouldn't be necessary due to the dehumanising surveillance. Thought that they realised how horrible it was when I was told that I could collect my passport. Things happened then explained it was not the case. Quite the opposite, some of the worse happened these few days. Saw some of the things I hate to see the most multiple times yesterday alone. 


Also, there were stark abuses of power, intentional humiliations and potential criminalisation. 


The outcome will most likely be among the worst I can imagine.




This afternoon 2 officers came to my room and said someone complained about the noise I made while exercising in my room (punching against a mattress). Kind of searched my room in the process.*

Although I talked to them about it, saying that I have already limited it to short periods in the afternoon only, I have a bad feeling that it was meant for something else.

There were suggestions like doing it against the floor and doing it in the toilet.

There were also some strange questions like if I go to the kitchen (the hall for food) for food, which I replied I do.

I am getting accusations of some serious things during this period when they refuse to give me back my passport and let me leave, with requirements that very much exist because of them and are controlled by them. And with shut doors after saying what they want to say. With prohibition of recording by me, but recorded without telling me, which was even denied before, focused on my face, too.


So basically they are forcing this. Doing it in a way, I can't come up with a milder appropriate description, disregarding me being a human with human feelings. Even though I explicitly reminded them I am a human, like it is necessary, even though I told them I feel tortured, it still continues.


As always, there are more, including some strange things happening to my body. It increasingly worries me that I won't be able to leave safely.

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20240228 Arrived in the UK for about 2 week. All my fears persist. Some are even getting worse.

Asylum Diary
Asylum Diary

Sometimes the seemingly trivial matters are better kept recorded. One premise is that many others will record them, not for you, anyway. E.g.: the big teches and the Big Brother, or just someone next to you.

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