My mind and heart are trying their mightiest to let it go, let things be, because you can't make someone want to be in touch; to stay connected--to remain friends.

Every day I pray for the pain to ease; for the surrender I'm longing to feel so I can ease my grip on the love and connection I'm trying to hang on to. It's agonizing to hear the deafening silence; the phone that doesn't ring....

Of all the virtues I don't have, being kind is one I thought I owned. But I wasn't kind this time--I lashed out with a cruel tongue and I'm forever regretful to have let my emotions spill out so wrongly. And the bigger thing is my emotions aren't fact, and they disregard the years of friendship that we had shared..I wish I had been a better friend; I wish I could still have a go at being a better friend..

If I could take back every word, I surely would.  Life is so short, hurting someone is crap. I believe in supporting and caring for the people we love, not shooting arrows at them.

I can yearn for forgiveness and hope of friendship, but it may not happen. I have to become okay with whatever outcome. I can't go back and change what I said, but I can move forward as a better soul. I can also be grateful for what was, for however long it was...and for all that time, it was beautiful to me.