ACT I
Once upon a time, there was a farmer, named 🧑🌾.
🧑🌾 sowed his fields and picked his 🌾 with his bare 👐.
🧑🌾 also tended to his liquidity provider animals named UNI the 🦄, CRV the 🐔, COMP the 🐮, and SUSHI the 🐟.
UNI the 🦄, CRV the 🐔, COMP the 🐮, and SUSHI the 🐟 yielded 🌈, 🥚, 🥛, and 🍣.
🧑🌾 had a lovely wife, farmer and master 🍣 chef 👩🍳, who made the farm even stronger with her liquidity provider 🍣.
👩🍳 ran a ⭐ ⭐ 🍣 bar according to the Michelin Guide. She was on her way to a ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 🍣 bar.
👩🍳 produced 🍣 with her bare 👐.
Suddenly, a blight ❄️ struck the region.
The blight ❄️ began to eat away at their 🌾 and threaten👩🍳's dreams of a ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 🍣 bar.
UNI the 🦄, CRV the 🐔, COMP the 🐮, and SUSHI the 🐟 were not getting proper exercise and nutrition.
The 🌈, 🥚, 🥛, and 🍣 yields were getting smaller and smaller 📉.
ACT II
🧑🌾 and👩🍳's neighbor, Chad the 🧙, came to them and asked, "why do you refuse to use the automated weatherproof 🚜?"
🧙 exclaimed, "🧑🌾 and👩🍳, the 🚜 will relieve your cold, tired, and bare 👐."
If you ask me, the narrator that is, Chad the 🧙 was a real Chad, and quite a helpful one at that.
🧙 used his automated 🚜 to connect with a vast 🌐 of fellow 🧑🌾s.
The vast 🌐 of fellow 🧑🌾s staked their 🚜, 🌾, 🌈, 🥚, 🥛, and 🍣, as a community in excess of 1 billion 💰.
🧙 explained "🚜 is a true public good."
The 🧑🌾's stakes on the 🌐 yielded an automated and outsized return of 🚜, 🌾, 🌈, 🥚, 🥛, and 🍣.
🧙 implored his friends, 🧑🌾 and 👩🍳, "Please consider using the 🚜."
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 asked 🧙, "That sounds good, 🧙, But who is in charge? How can we trust the 🚜 and the 🌐?!"
🧙 explained, "the 🧑🌾s and community members are in charge. We govern using our 🚜!"
🧙 continued, "The harvesting strategies are codified in 📃s that you can self-assess. And the farmer's almanac, also known as the wiki, is fantastic for getting started and learning about the farming strategies and the community."
🧙 concluded, "My favorite part is that the community has a profit sharing mechanism. We can stake our earned 🚜 and get an auto-compounding
yield in 🚜 that is regularly well above standard yields!"
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 asked, "One last question, who created this thing? Do they have centralized control?"
🧙 smiled and said, "The team is BreadforthePeople🥖, HonestAbe🎩, and FatSam(TheGaffer). They operate a bit like Satoshi."
🧙 continued, "the team writes the 📃s, facilitates and builds out governance mechanisms and 🧑🌾 utilities, interacts with the community in public forums such as discord 🤖, and are checked and aided by a team of moderators."
🧑🌾 and👩🍳 began to come around to these new ideas.
"It seems this open and community based farming would be very helpful to us," said 🧑🌾 and 👩🍳.
ACT III
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 started up the 🚜.
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 read the wiki.
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 made educated choices as to which of their 🚜, 🌾, 🌈, 🥚, 🥛, and 🍣 to stake and what allocations would be best for their unique needs.
As ⌛ passed, 🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 not only returned to the pre-blight ❄️ yields, they began to surpass their expectations.
👩🍳 succeeded in her dream of owning a ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 🍣 bar.
All was well 🌇.
ACT IV
One fine 🌅, the 🧑🌾s and the 🌐 began to realize that someone had capitalized on an exploit in the 📃s and made off with 16 million 💰.
The arbitrageur 😈 was undoubtedly a bad actor and a skilled 📃 developer because it takes experienced 👐 to pull off such a scheme.
The 🧑🌾s and the whole community were enraged 💢.
The community argued 🗯️ over the best way to make all the 🧑🌾s whole again.
🧑🌾s began to pull their 🚜, 🌾, 🌈, 🥚, 🥛, and 🍣 from the 🌐.
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 got burned.👩🍳 lost her 🍣 bar.
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 yelled at 🧙, "You led us astray! We have lost some 💰! What do you have to say?"
🧙 took a deep breath and said, "🧑🌾 and 👩🍳, I am terribly sorry. I was trying to do the right thing. And I think that remains true even now."
"How!!!??" yelled 🧑🌾 and 👩🍳.
🧙 replied, "Well, it is unclear as to whether this horrible event was definitively a hack or an exploit in the 📃. Nonetheless, the core team and the community seem to have found the gifts 🎁 in this bad event as they are proactively tackling this unfortunate event."
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 retorted, "And what 🎁s could anybody be receiving now from this awful situation?!"
🧙 replied, "The team and community are learning from this exploit, receiving extensive audits of the 📃s by reputable auditors, and building out a reparations mechanism for the 🧑🌾s."
🧙 continued, "I believe in the long run this will be something we look back on and say, 'wow, that moment was super unfortunate, but it hardened our security, tested our fortitude, and raised the quality of our 📃s and farming strategies.'"
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳, rhetorically, replied, "Should we be happy to have gotten burnt? Are we to celebrate a loss?"
🧙 said, "Often, true wisdom can only be found in a failure. Do not suffer in the past. Enjoy the fruit of the past and throw away the peel. The core team and community are so transparent and talented, surely the 🚜s and 🌐 will thrive again. We also should not forget about the DAO incident in Ethereum's nascency--they too suffered, learned and became stronger."
🧑🌾 and 👩🍳 replied, "Perhaps you are right, but today it seems you are wrong. The total staked 🚜, 🌾, 🌈, 🥚, 🥛, and 🍣 has collectively declined by ~50%. We should have never trusted you, Chad the 🧙."
🧙 replied, "Fair. I hope to reconvene in the future. Farewell."
ACT V
2.5 weeks later.........
👩🍳 to 🧑🌾, "It's bizarre, but I think our 🚜 farms are doing well again. I'm on the 🚜 dashboard and based on what I see I think I can reopen my 🍣 bar!"
🧑🌾 to 👩🍳, "You're right, I cannot believe this! Look at the total value locked! And look at the profit sharing yield!"
👩🍳 to 🧑🌾, "900 million 💰 in Total Value Locked with a profit sharing yield of 276%! TVL looks almost back to pre-😈 days!"
👩🍳 and 🧑🌾 in unison, "Let's call Chad the 🧙!"
☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️
🧙📞 "This is Chad the 🧙."
👩🍳 and 🧑🌾📞 "Chad the 🧙! Surely you're aware of the good news!"
🧙📞 "Indeed I am. It seems that (strong and healthy (📃s + 🧑🌾s + community)) === (strong and healthy 🚜)."
🧑🌾📞 "You were right about what you said in ACT 1: 🚜 was and is a true public good."
🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇
FIN
🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🌇🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜
