Holy smackers I actually remembered people's names tonight when I went out. Hard-pushing my warez. I'm supposed to be packing up all my shit to throw back into storage again, but instead I went out. It's Friday night. I can't just stay inside stressing about these “add assets now or we-fucking-take-it-all” texts. Not healthy.
Hey.
You know what else isn't healthy? Always HODLing. Yeah that shit's dumb and it's times like these that remind us of that fact. Who got fucked these last two months, show of hands?
How many of you cried?
I fucking cried. But not about the $2XX,XXX I permanently lost cause I was over-leveraged.
I cried about my parents being stupid.
I cried about me being stupider.
I cried about my friend dying.
I cried about the fact that people think I assaulted someone and drugged some bitches and NO ONE held Alex Wh*ttier accountable for libel and slander.
I cried about not being able to see some of the people I care for most because they live in another part of the world, and I lost my fuck-off and travel currencies.
Real shit. Money's just. You know. IT FUCKING MATTERS. But money isn't a reputation or the loss of a friend. Money is just a tool. My friend wasn't a tool. She was love. Reputation can be leveraged like a tool, but do that too much and you're a manipulative scumbag.
“Money is a tool.” We've all heard that. It shouldn't matter so much.
It fucking matters to me right now. If I could generate eh... $2000 USDT to buffer my loan-to-value, and to just stay two grand USD—not potentially lose more value like the rest of my imaginary internet monies—I could at least keep a few of the fine tokens I have left. NEXO already cleared out all my Bitcoin. ALL. MY. BITCOIN. They didn't need to. They just decided a couple wicks down were enough and applied my remaining BTC automatically to my loan. Some fast motherfucking wicks. I know “crypto is volatile blah blah blah” but fuck you guys. I never saw my account get to those threshold numbers, and I've been checking the motherfucker pretty frequently. Regardless, NEXO doesn't have to do that; they're fine. They just offered to buy out Celsiususes's debt or whatever. And this wasn't the cut-throat leverage trading I was doing that began this shitstorm of permanent loss. No. This is some seriously predatory lending. 'Lending.' Doesn't that word sound nice? Pleasant even. NEXO, I call bullshit. NEXO DIDN'T EVEN PROPORTIONATELY DISTRIBUTE THE AUTOMATIC LOAN REPAYMENT FROM ALL MY COLLATERLIZED ASSETS. Nooooope. They just went straight for my fucking Bitcoin. Fuck my ETH (that'll be next) and my BNB and my XRPee. Straight for King Bee-Tee-Cee. That's the breaks, Son. That's life.
FUCK YOU FUCKING NEXO. YOU PREDATORY MOTHERFUCKERS.
I didn't know “If the value of your collateral assets reaches $XX,XXX, small partial loan repayments will be initiated automatically” actually means:
*WE WILL FORCE REPAYMENT OF HALF YOUR LOAN WITH ONLY YOUR MOST DESIRABLE ASSET.*
My parents may not have sent me to IMSA even tho I was invited and offered a sizable scholarship, but I SURE AS FUCK KNOW THAT 50% OF ANYTHING IS NOT A “SMALL” PORTION OF IT. Well. Unless you're working with a five-incher. But this is math bitches. Why am I getting fucked and not enjoying it?
Tho I gotta admit. I was making some hype interest with them before I took out that loan, probably the dumbest part of my lose-it-all equation this last month. That loan was way dumb, not the interest. The interest was bomb.
Oh shit will this get flagged if I write 'bomb'?
BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB
BOMB INTEREST.
One of the greatest benefits of stacking crypt-ohs. 'Member when youtubers were making 8000% interest every month on some shitcoin? 'Member when USDT/Cs were earning 12 to 15% APY with the top lending platforms? 'Member when you were up, your portfolio was peaking on that roller-coaster of sick gains, with both hands high up in the air and just... wizzing all over the poories?
Wait no.
Let's not. Let's not remember that. (Unless like. Well, unless like. Unless like you're into that. No shame in your shower game.)
... I did not even take my own fucking advice.
If I can't trust myself.
Who can I trust?
'Member when people put their trust in that actually pretty cool and chill and enthusiastic Italian dude but he partnered with someone who previously exit-scammed (and even faked his own death?) and of course everyone who trusted Dude just 180'd and pulled the fuck out of that unwanted gang-bang? Yeah I didn't. I didn't want the handsy gang-bang. But I didn't pull out. I already lost so much I was just “Meh. Fuck it. Might as well spit and split. Just try to put those not-so-Wonderful Memories behind me. Maybe it'll Doge someday.” Probz not. Maybz. But Probz not.
Thing is. I really liked Italian Dude's dick-forward attitude. Had ambition. Spunk! A Lamborghini counter!!! Some questionable decision-making about who to trust and partner with, however.
But like.
Who am I to judge.
I partnered with NEXO, the sex predators of crypto lending.
I put my trust in some projects that failed.
I allowed my overall long-term bullish sentiment to bleed over a li'llllllll too much into what were supposed to be short-term trades.
I saw this bear market and recession coming and told people and they're all, “Yeah man. You said this was coming” and yet I did not even take my own fucking advice.
If I can't trust myself.
Who can I trust?
I did that. No one forced my hand. Sure, I got some garbage advice on some projects. Watched too much of the same perma-bull, mutual reach-around youtube channels. But ultimately it's my choice to act. And act when.
Seriously c'mon tho, Wonderful Italian Memory Man. YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE'S REAL MONEY. HAVE SOME ACCOUNTABILITY.
Some people, perhaps this author included, worked damn hard to accumulate that. And then we endured ridicule and “you fucking sap” looks of pity from friends and co-workers and family. Maybe decided to sleep in a car instead of a hotel for a few months just to keep the little bit of Bitcoin we had left. Cuz I'll be fucked if I'm selling it for only $3,000.
Ahhh the Good Ol' Days. $3k Bitcoin. I miss that.
Anyway, you well-intentioned Italian nut...
Maybe exercise better judgment in bedfellows next time... yeah?
Damn.
I'm sorry you're hurting.
Truly.
Are we going to do anything differently next time? ANYTHING AT ALL?
Remember this fucking pain.
Let it mark you.
