In His Defense, Louie Working on christmas Shows His Dedication.

DeJoy to the World! The Scam Has Come!


This christmas, some scammer gave me the gift of hilarity.

I just found this in my Spam folder:

From:Louis DeJoy <[email protected]>
Reply-To:[email protected]
To:
Subject:ATTENTION BENEFICIARY
Date:Saturday, December 25, 2021 11:48 AM
Size:11 KB

It's totally normal for government employees to use Gmail and AOL as opposed to... oh, say... a .gov domain. This is clearly going to be official government correspondence (from a Nigerian prince), right?

To be fair, Louis DeJoy trying to send mail to himself and sending it to me instead is in-character for him.

GOOD NEWS,

I Louis DeJoy Director general of United States Postal Service, Postal
service company (USPS) We have been waiting for you to contact us for
your parcel that has been registered with us By United Nations in
collaboration with the US Federal Government for shipment to your
residential address. We thought that the sender gave you our contact
details. It may interest you to know that a letter is also added to
your parcel.

He used my birth name: GOOD NEWS! How did he know?!?

I know that times are tough, but I didn't realize that Louis DeJoy had to cut back on proofreaders.

And I didn't realize that USPS was an acronym for "Postal Service Company."

And last but not least, shouldn't the USPS already know my address? They've been sending me mail for months. And oh yeah... I paid to get my address changed online, so I clearly need to get a refund on that $1 that I wasted.

However, we cannot quote the content to you via email for privacy
reasons. We understand that the content of your parcel it self is a
money order worth $650,000.00 US Dollars), $650,000.00 US Dollars for
each envelope, all in (3) three envelopes which totally worth a sum of
$1.950,000. United States Dollars. Text me urgently with your address,
full name and email address including your phone number to: and also
send email to below email; {[email protected]}
Number: +15154440645
Yours Faithfully,
Louis DeJoy
Director General of United States Postal Service Office Address 5675
CAROLINA BEACH RD WILMINGTON, NC 28412-3629

"We can't tell you what it says, but we did open it up and saw a shitload of cash." Thanks, Louie!

And, apparently, Louie's working in Des Moines, IA. Y'know... the capital of the United States.

(Louie gets partial credit for correctly identifying a post office, though.)

And why does he want me to mail him at [email protected] instead of [email protected] or [email protected]? It's almost as if the guy in charge of mail has no earthly clue how e-mail works. Huh.

I suspect that this might be a scam.

I'm tempted to use a burner number to text him the following information:

I. P. Freely
1100 S Ocean Blvd
Palm Beach, FL 33480
(561) 832-2600

After all, the current resident there knows a thing or two about scams.

I'll give into temptation. I'll send the following text via Google Voice:

HAAAAAY BABALOUIE!
I totes got your email that you meant to sent to yourself, and I'd love to get my hands on all of that $7,650,000 US Dollars (but not French dollars; those are Kenyan communism)!!! Please send everything to this address.
I. P. Freely
1100 S Ocean Blvd
Palm Beach, FL 33480
(561) 832-2600
Feel free to call me every five minutes if you have questions, concerns, or sound clips of farting ducks.
BYEEEEE BABALOUIE!

I'll let you know if really-Louis-Dejoy-and-not-some-con-artist-in-Des-Moines sends me big wads of money. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

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LoonyLiberal
LoonyLiberal

I have 15 years of experience as a software tester. I've been writing off-and-on for 28 years. I adapt quickly to new technologies and new methodologies. And I believe that humor is the most important social skill.


The Loony Liberal's Lampoonery
The Loony Liberal's Lampoonery

The main purpose of this blog is to deliver zany comedy to its readers. There will be occasions, though, where I'll address topics with more seriousness. This blog will include satire, parody, cultural references, and other scribbles that will make you question my sanity.

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