All I Want for Christmas Are My Two Front Tweets.

A Twist on the Traditional Holiday Gift List

(Forgive me if the next sentence is mansplaining, but I feel the urge to include it for readers outside of the United States.)

Gift registries lists of items or services that a person or couple -- often a bride-to-be and a groom-to-be or an expectant mother -- would like to receive to celebrate a momentous event. Personally, I'm not a fan of gift registries, especially when they contain items that are... let's call them less than practical. However, my respect for a couple or similar gift recipient when they have a charity registry -- a list of charities and similar organization that the recipients support. Often, charity registries request that donations be made in the name of an important figure or a loved one that's close to the "recipient."

With that in mind, I'd like to create a Talented Provider Holiday List. Although calling my financial, mental, and physical states a hot mess is an understatement, I'm closer to being in a stable position than I have been in nearly two years. So, to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Sexy Kali Saturday, etc., please consider buying the services or sending donations to the entertainers below. I will do my best to follow suit as my finances allow.

(Note that the list below contains only people who are actively selling or providing content. In an ideal world, I'd try to funnel money to all of my real-life and online friends, but I don't want to bombard my readers.)

SFW Talent
  • Amanda Winn Lee: Amanda lets me call her "Mom" without getting freaked out. And if that's not enough to show how amazing she is, she's also done voice acting for several anime franchises, she's an LGBT ally, and she's an author. If you're looking for a renaissance woman for your artistic needs, Amanda's web page is a great start.
  • Anthony "Ant" GramugliaAnt is an author who currently specializes in comic books and related pop-culture. He is also merciless to trolls, so I recommend against provoking him. Try hiring him instead; his content is solid and well-thought-out.
  • Barry KramerBarry was formerly a Game Grump and currently gut-bustlingly funny. His takes/takedowns of the Kingdom Hearts series could cause anyone to fail a "Try Not to Laugh" challenge. Check out his Twitch account. (He says it's for mature audiences, but that's likely for language instead of nekkid people, so I can comfortably place it in the SFW list.)
  • Bree (Three Gen Media): I may have mentioned one or two hundred times that I'm employed part-time as a writer for Three Gen Media. In addition to being skilled wordsmiths, Bree and her husband, Adam, are fair, level-headed, and generous with praise. Working for them is both an honor and a treat. People who seek high-quality content for their websites or editing services for their other works should contact Three Gen Media. They have a significant gathering of talented writers... and me, too, for reasons that I don't fully comprehend.
  • bluegal and driftglass: bluegal blogs at Crooks and Liars. driftglass blogs at Blogger. Together, they have a weekly podcast: The Professional Left with BlueGal and Driftglass. They're an intelligent, hilarious, and hard-working couple, so please send some coffee money their way.
  • Jackary Salem: Jackary is an author who provides excellent beta-reading and proofreading services. I've used her for my The Stewards and the Sinners works, and her feedback is worth its weight in gold. I highly recommend her.
  • J-L Cauvin: J-L Cauvin is a talented comedian whose impressions of Drumpf and his accomplices must be heard to be believed. Check out his YouTube channel for great impersonations.
  • JT Music Team: This group is -- in a word -- incredible. Their raps, songs, and videos are high-quality, energetic, and oftentimes hilarious. Their website is the best place to watch their videos, purchase their merchandise, and follow their online accounts.
  • Hooksnfangs: Hooksnfangs is an online artist with some impressive and funny works. On a whim, I responded to one of his character requests with "a hybrid creature that is half-cat and half-Sega Dreamcast," and he drew it, and it was awesome. So, yeah, I consider myself financially indebted to him, which I hope to resolve next week. The rest of you should check out his online store.
  • Leslie Ann Moore: Leslie Ann Moore is a published author and is an active member of Twitter's writing community, providing thought-provoking questions and commentary. (Also, her Twitter bio says that she's a belly-dancer, which earns huge points with me.) Check out her website, and consider buying some of her literary works.
  • The Mad HarlotIf I were to ever visit New York ever again, the Mad Harlot would be the prime reason. She's funny and gregarious, and her costumes are amazing. If you're in or near New York, you should consider adding her tea parties to your post-coronavirus checklist.
  • Midnight Monster Movies with Dr. Bob Tesla: The bad news is that the live show has been cancelled (something that I hope I can remedy if I ever become a millionaire). They have a virtual show on Twitch, so please check that out. And their website has a store with related merchandise; I recommend the Monster of Phantom Lake plushie as a stocking stuffer.
  • Ronny PascaleRonny Pascale is a comedian who hosts the weekly Youtube comedy show "Roast Yerself." I owe him an interview because of my frightening and atrocious Pavi Largo pic. Perhaps if I can send some well-deserved traffic his way, he'll forgive me for keeping him waiting.
  • ShellShell is a cosplayer with great costumes and a matching great attitude. If you agree, head to her store and buy a few of her stickers. I'm a firm believer that the Bunny Bulma sticker will make a great stocking stuffer. Just don't let Vegeta see it....
  • Tammy Talpas: Tammy is a political activist with a significant amount of technical expertise. People who want a professionally-created website or boosts to their traffic should strongly consider hiring her.
  • The StupendiumThe Stupendium is a creator of clever raps, catchy songs, and eye-catching costumes. And his J. Jonah Jameson and Baldi impressions are spot-on. Check out his videos, then head to his online store to get some Stupendium gear.

NSFW Talent (Assume that all links in this section are NSFW)
  • Art Hard Cosplay: Arguably the most fetching elf on Twitter, this cosplayer has an OnlyFans page where she sells erotic photos and videos. Her Patreon page contains SFW content as well.
  • Blake: If you believe that slime creatures aren't sexy, that's because you haven't seen Blake's art yet. She draws a variety of beautiful women. I've commissioned her in the past, and I can professionally vouch for her. Blake takes commission requests via DMs on Twitter.
  • ChaosDreamingThis account is run by a wife-and-husband couple that shares their sexual adventures on Twitter and OnlyFans. Give them a follow and a subscription if you are able.
  • Darling Nikki: Nikki is a sex blogger, author, and one of my Twitter crushes. She also posts pictures of herself, which I deeply appreciate. In addition to her OnlyFans page, Nikki has a personal sex blog.
  • HentaiMasterArt: HentaiMasterArt has taken on the thankless task of performing Let's Plays of h-games. Please follow and donate before he strips away the last of his sanity. He willingly followed me last week, so act now before it's too late!
  • JomoJomo draws beautiful women, often providing multiple versions ranging from SFW to completely naked. Head to their Patreon page and subscribe; they deserve some holiday cheer.
  • KAAPCOMAdmittedly, I don't know as much about this artist as I would like, but I do know that the artist draws beautiful women, often wearing sexy clothes or no clothes. And as of 2020-12-02, KAAPCOM is taking commission requests via DM.
  • KajinKajin creates both SFW and NSFW art, and most of it is breathtaking. If you have a few dollars a month to spare, consider supporting him on Patreon.
  • MaxineHonestly, I don't know much about the artist other than that the artist is in France. However, the artists' works are absolutely gorgeous, and the Maxine character is a heart-breaking beauty. Maxine has accounts on OnlyFans, Patreon, and Gumroad.
  • MisreadBible: My regular readers know that I have a semi-regular feature, #TweetYouSinners, where I poke fun at the silliness in religion. Well, MisreadBible is at least 666 times funnier than I am. Websurfers can buy his books from his website; what better way to get that pesky elf off of your shelf once and for all than to read it some twisted scripture?
  • NakieFavesNakieFaves is quickly catching up to Makoto Nanaya for "My biggest internet-based crush." In addition to drawing beautiful women, she is a beautiful woman. She's also smart, funny, and she makes the ultimate sacrifice: she pretends that I'm funny! If I head to Canada, that might be considered by the Canadian government as an act of war. However, if I can convince her to visit Vegas.... In the meantime, sign up for her OnlyFans account and/or send her a tip via Ko-Fi.
  • Nichole of Denver: I have bad memories from my time in Colorado, but the possibility of meeting this beautiful provider may be enough for me to make a return trip for a vacation. If you're closer to Denver than I, consider reaching out to her for some holiday jollies.
  • Piper Press: Having lived in Minnesota in the past, I can vouch that there's plenty to enjoy there. And now, I have one more reason to consider spending a few days in or near Minneapolis: Piper Press, a stunning provider with a great demeanor.
  • RoninDude: RoninDude draws beautiful women -- including elves -- and he enjoys cheeseburgers, which might make him qualify as my spirit animal. Head to his Patreon page and consider buying a monthly subscription.
  • TonyToranTonyToran's current project is a hilarious and enticing online comic featuring the sexual misadventures of Tina and Tony, two bunny-people with sexual tension thick enough to cut with a chainsaw. Head to his Patreon page and sign up for a monthly subscription.
  • The Violet Wanderers: The Violet Wanderers host a NSFW LBGT podcast with an emphasis on transgender issues. Head to their Patreon page to learn more about their podcast and subscription levels, then sign up for one of the levels.

I intend for this to be a living document until the end of 2020. With over 2,000 followees, I'm certain that I've neglected some creators that deserve a signal boost. There's 23 days remaining until Noel Vermillion's birthday and 29 days until we bid a rancorous farewell to this dumpster-fire of a year, so this list can make holiday shopping much simpler for those who don't want to deal with maskless morons spreading their conspiracy theories and spittle. I'll try to update as needed; I'm aiming for at least one update a day, so please bookmark this page.

Don't give until it hurts. Give until it feels good. Supporting these creators will be a win-win situation for both you and them.

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I have 15 years of experience as a software tester. I've been writing off-and-on for 28 years. I adapt quickly to new technologies and new methodologies. And I believe that humor is the most important social skill.

The Loony Liberal's Lampoonery
The Loony Liberal's Lampoonery

The main purpose of this blog is to deliver zany comedy to its readers. There will be occasions, though, where I'll address topics with more seriousness. This blog will include satire, parody, cultural references, and other scribbles that will make you question my sanity.

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