How to Introduce Yourself: 10 Tips and Tricks for the Introverted Guy

By Carded0421 | Spontaneous Thoughts | 22 Oct 2021

Here's 10 tips and tricks for all you introverted guys out there to introduce yourself to girls.

Tip #1: Ask Her

Many guys have the mistaken idea that women are mutually attracted to them, and that they can just walk up to a girl and start talking. While some girls might be more receptive than others, as a general rule it is not a good idea to just walk up and say hello.

Tip#2: Be Presentable

This means being clean, smelling good enough so she doesn't have an immediate negative reaction, wearing clothes that fit correctly on your body type, shoes in good condition but not showy, etc. If you don't know what constitutes as "good enough", this article has some helpful advice on how to look presentable according to different styles/situations.

Tip#3: First Impression

This is the same kind of advice you would get for making a good impression at a job interview. You want to make a good first impression. This means looking at her and smiling before saying anything, and saying "Hi" in a friendly tone of voice. Remember to look at her when talking to her.

Tip#4: What to Say When You Talk to Her

As an introverted guy, you should take advantage of one of your advantages: being quiet and observing other people's behavior so that you can learn from it. As a result, you can observe what a girl says and how she says it, and use that information to formulate a more natural conversation.

Tip#5: Make Her Feel Special

This means bringing her water or buying her another drink if you haven't already bought her one. Also, make sure to compliment her on something she has said, make comparisons between similar situations ("You should try the chicken quesadilla" instead of "I like your hair"), or ask for details about something ("How did you break the glass?"). Doing this will make her feel good about herself. Doing this will also help you to connect with the girl by developing a genuine social bond.

Tip#6: Don't Make Assumptions

This means that you should not make assumptions about how well or poorly she is doing in life, or what she has accomplished up to this point because you don't know her well enough to do that. That being said, if you are meeting her for the first time, you could still ask how long she has been in town. It's also acceptable to talk about something that you can see that she likes ("Wow! You really love X!"), but only because the context of the conversation already gives you the impression of her being open-minded.

Tip#7: Invite Her to Do Something

This tip is really about having an intention and a plan — making it clear that you're trying to develop a social bond with her and that you're looking forward to spending more time with her. It's better if she doesn't know where you're going or what you're doing, and even better if she doesn't have any idea who else will be there. If you want to be straightforward, ask her what she has been up to lately. This way, your invitation will come as no surprise because "what have you been up to?" is such a common topic of conversation.

Tip#8: Relax, Have a Good Time

It's a date, man! No need for a "performance" or to be constantly self-assured. Go with the flow and enjoy yourself. Introduce her to your friends and make sure to look out for each other. This is the most important part of dating, after all — experiencing new things together, learning about each other's lives, and creating memories that you'll both look back on later in life with fondness.

Tip#9: Pay Attention to Her Sent Messages!

Maybe she doesn't want to go out on a second date with you because she doesn't want a commitment. Maybe she is expecting you to ask her out on a second date, and will be disappointed if you don't. Maybe she's just busy now, but really likes you and wants to see you again soon. As an introverted guy, it's difficult for you to read these things from the message she sends back, but it is still possible with a little bit of experience and finesse.

Tip#10: How to Ask Her Out on a Second Date

Remember that asking her out on a second date isn't about pressuring her into doing something she doesn't want. It's about giving her an option if she wants to do it (or making sure you still have an option).

Trick#1: Transparent Expectations

If you ask a girl on a date and she agrees, a week later you can say "I'm going to try to come up with some awesome plans for us, so I'm going to have to ask you out again on Friday." Alternatively, if the girl suggests that it's not a good time for you to meet her, then say something like "OK then I guess we just have to do it when it's right!" Basically, come out with things being totally transparent about your motives before you need to.

Trick#2: Offering an Option

If she says no (or outright refuses), don't be mad/annoyed and give up. Instead, find something else to do with your free time so she doesn't feel rejected.

Trick#3: Involve Her Friends

Ask her friends if they want to do something with you, since they might be willing to go out on a second date with you anyway. Involving her friends will make her feel valued and appreciated for being the sort of woman who has friends who would go on a second date with a guy she just met. You can also ask them to help you plan the date so you give the impression that you want to include them in it from the get-go.

Trick#4: Ask Her Out on a Second Date

If you haven't already, get her to go out on a second date by asking her if she wants to get coffee or see a movie. If she accepts, then get her information and invite her to your place or somewhere else. If she says yes, make sure to stick to the plan and not change it on the spur of the moment — even if you want to. Chances are that if she really wants to be around you and you two already have plans (like going out for coffee), she won't want to blow them off for something else that might be easier, or for which no other plans will be made.

Trick#5: Make Sure She Feels Valued

Because introverts are sensitive to how people feel about themselves, you'll have to be especially careful about how she feels about herself. Don't let her walk away from the date feeling shy or stupid because you've made her feel that way. Remember, it takes a lot of courage for a woman to meet a guy for the first time alone and treat it like a "date." If something doesn't go well, don't get offended — just try again.

Trick#6: Don't Do the "I'll Call and We'll Make Plans" Thing!

Don't make plans with a girl because you took too long to make them already, or because she asked for them. If you were to do this, it would take the pressure off of you to make plans. The next time you talk to her, make sure she has something else planned first.

Trick#7: Get Her Number! And Update It Yourself If You Can!

If she doesn't have a phone, try getting her number from her friends if possible. Even better, get her number yourself if you can figure out how! This will be much easier if she gives it to you herself though. Make sure that the text messages are easy for her to understand by spelling out any abbreviations or using what's called "textspeak."

Trick#9: Don't Try To Be Someone Else! But...

If you're hyper-focused on not being the kind of guy she thinks you are, you'll have a hard time getting her to think you're worth spending time with. However, there's no need for this for the most part. Try to be yourself in your text messages and your voicemails so that she can get a feel for who you are in real life.

Trick#10: Don't Be Scared Of To-Do Lists

To-do lists will make you feel in control in the midst of all the uncertainty of dating. Make sure to make a list for every date, including things like "bring flowers," "leave messages," "clean up myself," and so on. These kinds of things can make you more approachable and responsible in her eyes.

Have fun! And enjoy having the most valuable thing that any guy could have — a meaningful relationship with a woman who finds him attractive! ♥

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