This is a new comedy animated show my friend Justus Bruestle wrote and he asked me to publish it here with his permission. Copyrighted 2020 by Smurgaloo Tunes. All rights reserved.
Show: Oliver Town
Title: "Cindy and the Stork"
[Fade in. Show a shot of Susan's living room. Cindy jumps into the frame waving her arms.
Cindy: Let's go scamming! [She falls out of the frame. She jumps back into the frame waving her arms.] Scam time! Scam time! [Cam pulls back to reveal that Cindy is dancing around Susan who is sitting on a comfy chair trying to read a book. She tries to concentrate in vain.] You know you want to! [Susan scowls, turns away, and folds into an even tighter ball.] Com on we never go scamming together.
[Susan wipes around and pulls out a 20 dollar bill.]
Susan: Here! Take this and go have fun someplace else! [Cindy swipes the 20.]
Cindy: Ha! I just scammed you out of 20 bucks.
Susan: It's not a scam if you get what you paid for. [Susan goes back into reading ball mode.]
Cindy: Whatever I gots 20 dollars. [Susan makes a shooing gesture without turning away form her book.] Fiddo! We're going shopping!
[Flip can to coach. Fiddo barks and then slides off the coach landing face first in a heap.]
#S2 - QZ#
[15 second theme intro]
#S3 - QB#
[Cut to downtown, marketing district. Establishing shot. Pan down to Cindy. She is briskly walking down the side walk. In one hand is the 20. She looks at it in awe. In her other hand she grasps Fiddo's leash loop. Pan to Fiddo. When the leash gets tight he gets launched forward and randomly flops around. He lays were ever he lands until the leash gets tight again. Pan back to Cindy]
Cindy: Oh man look at all these moneys. We could buy anything! [Cindy throws her arms up. Fiddo gets lifted off the ground. Cindy lowers her arms. Fiddo falls and hits the ground.] Like a big bag of Candy or a flying car.
Fiddo: Or a wheel chair?
Cindy: Pffttt no silly. We have to spend it on something important, like lip gloss.
Camilia: [O.S.] Forbidden knowledge! All the knowledge of the universe for only twenty dollars!
[zoom on Cindy]
Cindy: [Gasp] Knowlllledddgggge.
[Flip cam to Camilia. She is dressed like a stereotypical gypsy fortune teller. She is leaning on the counter of a make shift stall. Above her is a sign that reads "Madam Mystic. Answers to any question from the great beyond. One question $20. Two questions $50. Three questions $200. Stupid questions double price."]
[Show a shot from her POV. Cindy's hand rises above the counter and slaps the twenty down. Camilia leans over the counter, notices Cindy, and smiles.]
Camilia: And what arcane wisdom do you seek from Madam Mystic child?
Cindy: Where do babies come from?!
Camilia: [Looks surprised]. . . You don't know wh- [Flashes a devilish smile. She swipes up the 20 and then leans in and starts whispering in Cindy's ear.]
Cindy: . . .em hmm . . . ya . . . a stork? . . .Wow! I know it! [Cindy yanks the leash sending Fiddo flying up. Cindy grabs him by the cheeks.] Get ready Fiddo it's time for operation have baby!
[As she says "Have Baby" Cindy puts her hands on her hips and puffs out her chest like a super hero. Fiddo's head gets smashed inside Cindy's armpit.]
#S4 - QZ#
[Cut to a creek outside of town. A stork stands on a river rock in the middle of the creek. He looks smug and content. He preens himself and then lazily goes back to staring off. Cindy's hand comes into the frame and grabs him by the neck. The stork lets out whatever cry storks make when some one grabs them by the neck. Shot of Cindy dragging the stork across the ground as it screams. Close up stork. Cindy puts a bag over the storks head. Cut to black.]
#S5 - QC#
[Screen is still black. There's a sound of the bag being pulled off. Use stork's POV. The stork slowly opens it's eyes. The cam is out of focus. The stork is in a dimly lit abandoned warehouse. There's an old rust metal table in front of him. A bright lamp is switched on and turned toward the storks face. Flip cam to show stork. He's strapped to a rickety wooden chair. There's a strap across his neck, one across his body and off screen there's one across his legs.]
[The stork squints in the light and struggles against the straps, making whatever sound storks make when they wake up prisoner in a dark warehouse. Show a farther lower angle. The stork struggles in the background. In the foreground Cindy's razor wire bat of Kindness comes down and slams into the table leaving a large dent. The stork's mouth hangs open in shock. Flip back to storks POV. Cindy steps into the light just enough so that only her face and the tip of her bat is shown. She has a stern look. Fiddo drags himself across the table into the light so that only his head and floppy front legs are shown. He also has a mean look. Flip back to show stork. He looks at Cindy and Fiddo in horror. Cindy takes a step forward.]
Cindy: Fiddo, translate. [When Cindy talks Fiddo starts speaking a few words in.] Let's not play around. We know you fly to rainbow gumdrop land to pick up babies and deliver them to new mommies and daddies.
Fiddo: No play time. We knows you go rainbow gumdrop land and bring people puppy to new momo's and dado's.
[The stork starts shaking his head, making whatever sound storks make when they're trying to deny absurd accusations.]
Cindy: Don't play dumb! Madam Mystic wouldn't lie. She has wisdom form the other side!
Fiddo: No stupy! Madam Mystic no lie. She knows smart dead people! [Fiddo pounds the table with his paw.]
[The stork starts starts shaking his head and making noise again. Cindy grabs him by the beak and pulls him in.]
Cindy: Look at me. I'm the mommy now, so you are going to fly off [Cindy makes a wing flapping gesture with her free hand.] to rainbow gum drop land and bring me a baby!
Fiddo: Eye balls me. I is momo now. You flay rainbow gum drop land and bring people puppy!
[Cindy lets go of the stork.]
Cindy: So this is how it's going to work. You have one hour to bring me a baby, and don't even think about running off. There isn't a place you can fly that we won't be able to catch you. And if you fail, well, Fiddo here likes poultry. [Throws nod to Fiddo.]
Fiddo: Deez the rules. You one hour bring people puppy, no run away, we all knowing. You fail, me winner winner chicken dinner. [Fiddo licks his lips.]
[Shot of stork gasping in terror. The stork starts a ruckus making whatever noise storks make when they're begging for mercy. This goes on for like 5-8 seconds. Cindy gets madder as the groveling continues. She gets up in the storks face and starts quoting the Talking Heads song "No Compassion."]
Cindy: So many people have problems. I'm not interested in their problems. My interest level is dropping! My interest level is dropping! I've heard all I want to and I don't want to hear anymore! Take my compassion push it as far as it goes! They say compassion is a virtue, but I don't have the [Cindy places her bat on the tip of the storks beak.] time. [Cindy shoves the stork with bat. The stork makes whatever noise storks make when the last of their hope is shattered. Cindy starts undoing the straps.] One hour. Bring, me, a, BABY!
[The last strap falls off. The stork gives a scared nod. The stork flies out of the warehouse.]
#S6 - QC#
[Show a transition that hints at the passing of time. Cindy and Fiddo are milling about in the warehouse. The stork flies in carrying an old worn she in it's beak. The stork lands and places the shoe at Cindy's feet with a hopeful look. Cindy folds her arms.]
Cindy: That's a shoe not a baby! [Cindy speaks slowly and hold her hands one foot apart.] Bring small person, got it!
[The stork nods and flies out. Show another transition. Cindy and Fiddo mill about looking even more bored. The stork flies in carrying a cloth baby doll, and sets it at Cindy's feet. Cindy feet. Cindy angrily picks it up and shakes it in the storks face.]
Cindy: This is a baby DOLL! [Cindy throws the doll in the air and smacks it with her bat on the way down. The doll says "Momma" when it gets hit, and goes flying.] I want a real baby!
[Cindy points at the stork. The stork nods and flies out. Show a transition. Cindy and Fiddo now both look board and angry. The stork flies in carrying a featherless baby stork. The stork set's it down on the ground at Cindy's feet. Close up of baby stork. It lies on it's back, wiggling, and making whatever noise baby storks make when they're plucked from their warm nest and placed on a cold cement floor. Cindy leans close to the baby with a raised eyebrow.]
Cindy: That's a stork baby! I want a human baby! Last chance! Bring me a baby!
Fiddo: Last chance or this be you! [Fiddo slurps up the baby stork and swallows it whole. The stork gasps in horror. Cindy sternly point at the door. The stork nods and flies off.]
#S7 - QD#
[Cut to a house. A mother and father are standing by a crib and lovingly looking down at the baby inside. The stork flies in through an open window. He flies up to the parents and starts fighting them. There's lots of panicked yelling. The stork makes whatever noise storks make when they're locked in a battle for their lives. The stork pecks the father in forehead. He kneels in pain. The stork perches on the crib. He reaches down and picks up the baby by the diaper with his beak. The mother tries to stop him.]
Mother: No! Stop! That's my baby!
[The stork lifts one of it's legs, garbs the mother by the shoves her to the ground. The stork flies out the window, while struggling to stay airborne form the weight of the baby. The mother and father run to the window and watch the baby go in a state of panicked sorrow. Their lines are delivered about simintainously.]
Mother: No! bring back my baby!
Father: No! My boy! My only son!
#S8 - QC#
[Cut to ware house. Fiddo and Cindy are milling about. Close up Cindy. The stork enters the warehouse off screen.]
Cindy: Finally you better have [Cindy turns and notices the baby.] MY BABY!
[The stork lands and sets the baby down. It's a chubby male baby with big blue eyes. He's wearing a diaper and a light blue T-shirt. Cindy runs up to him.]
Cindy: Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! [Cindy shakes one of his feet.] Awww look at his lil' feets! It's really a baby! Rainbow gum drop land is real! Who's the Mama!? I am! That's right! Down low! [Cindy holds her hand in front of Fiddo. Fiddo attempts to raise one of his paws. Cindy yanks her hand away.] Too slow! Whew! Yea! Looks at him he's so adorable, he's gotta fuzzy head and a - [The stork makes whatever sound storks make when they wish to be released form hell. Cindy turns to him.] Oh you can go. [The stork sighs in relief and starts walking away. Cam follows the stork.] [O.S.] suck a cute belly button! and he's got a normal amount of eyes, and oh look he's-
#S9 - QZ#
[Cut to a few blocks away from the warehouse. The stork walks, his head held low, contemplating the dark deeds he's had to do to survive. A large amount of cop cars, sirens blazing, suddenly show up around the stork. The cops almost instantaneously exit their cars and level their guns at the stork. Close up of stork looking around in shock. Show cops. The mother and father and standing there holding each other. The mother points at the stork.]
Mother: That's the maniac who stole my baby!
[Close up stork. He looks horrified. Two cops come and forcefully grab him.]
#S10 - QZ#
[Cut to a court room. The stork is sitting in the defendants chair looking bewildered. Show shot of parents weeping in the audience. The judge speaks.]
Judge: For the heinous crime of kidnapping I sentence you to LIFE IMPRISONMENT! [He swings the gavel. Quick shot of stork gasping.]
#S11 - QZ#
[Cut to a jail cell. The stork is sitting on the top bunk, his legs dangling. His head hangs. He's wearing a little orange jail jump suit. The stork sighs and gets up. He picks up a rope with a loop at the end, and throws it over a light fixture. The stork puts his head through the loop. He jumps off the bed.]
#S12 - QC#
[Cut to warehouse. Cindy is still gushing over the baby.] [Note: The stork scenes after the stork left the warehouse ere flash forwards. No time has passed form Cindy's POV.)
Cindy: and he's got chubby lil' legs and a functional nose and [girly screech] he's so CUTE! Well I guess we gotta come up with a name. Hmmm, Johnny? No. Billy? No. [The baby giggles and makes a face like he's pushing. The baby's diaper inflates like a balloon.] I know, Poopy!
Fiddo: What about Fiddo Jr.?
Cindy: Fiddo Jr.? Well I suppose you are the father in this situation. How about a compromise. I'll call him [Cindy holds up the baby.] Poopy Jr.!
[A golden star appears behind the baby when Cindy says "Poopy Jr." The word "Poopy" appears above the baby's head in multi-colored letters. The word "Junior" appears below the baby. The baby giggles and then starts sucking his thumb.]
[Cindy pulls Poopy Jr. away form the star. The star falls down and embeds itself into the floor. The letters stay floating in the air. Cindy holds Poopy Jr. in one arm and waves her other arm at the letter.]
Cindy: Shooo! Shooo! [The letters start to float away. Cindy sets the baby down.] Now it's time to change him.
[Cindy walks off screen. After a brief pause she walks back into the frame carrying a fresh diaper, a box of baby wipes, and a bottle of baby powder.]
Cindy: I obtained these baby changing supplies through totally legal means and have been saving them for years, [Cindy starts to sound maniacal.] waiting, waiting for the day when I finally have a baby, waiting, always waiting, no end in sight, burning with a desire, an unquenchable longing, the shear intensity of which, slowly, but surly, dragging me down to an early grave. [Fiddo looks at the camera with a concerned look. Cindy switches to her normal cheery tone.] but I have a baby now so it's all good. [Cindy starts setting down the items as she refers to them.] I got a fresh diaper, hypoallergenic baby wipes, and some baby powder, certified asbestos free. We wouldn't want him to get vagina cancer.
Fiddo: What about baby food?
Cindy: Baby food? Babies don't feed off sunlight? [Fiddo shakes his head.] Shoot, guess I gotta take a trip to the baby store. You stay here and change the baby.
[Fiddo nods. Cindy walks out of the frame. There's a door open/close sound. Fiddo looks the baby over. He starts gnawing at the one of the diaper straps. He gets the diaper open. He tries to gnaw open the wipe box. It doesn't work. He looks at the baby a little concerned. He tries to pen the box again.]
#S13A - QB#
[Cut to somewhere in Oliver Town. There's a low angle shot that simulates a camera placed on the road. This shot will be used for the duration of the scene. In the back ground there's a baby store called "Babies Are We". A truck pulls up to the curb. The driver's door takes up the shot. Mr. Happy gets out of the truck. Only his legs are shown. He sings a happy tune as he leaves the frame to cross the street. After a short moment Cindy walks into the frame. You can see the bottom of a satchel she's carrying. Cindy gets into the truck and closes the door. She starts the truck and drives off, revealing the store again. After a moment the truck is seen in the background speeding towards the baby store. The truck crashes through the front wall of the store. An alarm sounds. After a moment Cindy runs out of the store carrying a bulging satchel. She runs across the frame and exits the shot. There's the faint sound of police sirens in the distance.]
#S14A - QC#
[Cut back to warehouse. Fiddo is trying hard to gnaw open the wipe box. He fails. Fiddo looks at the baby in fear. He throws himself at the wipe box. It doesn't open. Fiddo stares at the baby not knowing what to do. There's the look of an internal struggle going on inside. He crawls forward toward baby. Show shot coming form about were the baby's butt is. Fiddo licks the camera. He turns and gags. He licks the Camera again.]
#S13B - QB#
[Cut to Somewhere in Oliver Town. Cindy is running across a busy street. Cars slam on their brakes and swerve to avoid her. Several cop cars are among them, sirens blazing. She reaches the other end and tries to turn left, but is blocked by a cop car. She tries to turn right. A cop car drives up the side walk in front of her. Sending people scattering, while also running several people over. The car stop, the cop gets out.]
Cop: Freeze! [Cindy runs down the alley way. Hard zoom on cop.] We gotta runnneeerrrr!
#S14B - QC#
[Cut to warehouse. Fiddo picks up the baby powder bottle. He shakes his head back and forth sending puffs of powder every where. He sneezes sending the bottle flying. He grabs the fresh diaper. He places the diaper near the baby's bottom. Fiddo grabs both the babies legs in his mouth and pulls the baby's bottom off the ground. He let's go and quickly tries to pull the diaper the rest of the way. The baby's legs fall and bonk Fiddo's head before he can reach the diaper. Fiddo sighs. He repeats the process and is bonked again. He tries again and is bonked. He looks at the cam with a "oh brother" look.]
#S13C - QB#
[Cut to somewhere in Oliver Town. Cindy is running across some roof tops doing parkour. A police helicopter is following her. She reaches the end of the roof top. She looks down at the alley way below and then looks up at the helicopter. A cop speakers through a megaphone form inside the copter.]
Copter Cop: Unhand the organic baby victuals!
[Cindy jumps off the building. She lands on a dumpster and jumps off. Switch to her POV. She runs to the end of the Alley. A cop jumps out and tries to grab her. She ducks under him and continues running down a different alley. Another cop jumps out. She punches him in the crotch and keeps running.]
#S14C - QC#
[Cut to warehouse. Fiddo tries to life the baby's legs again. This time he is fast enough to pull the diaper forward before the baby's legs fall. He sighs in relief. Fiddo starts dragging himself to the other end of the diaper. The baby giggles and then poops all over the fresh diaper. Fiddo lets out a long groan. The door opens and slams O.S. Cindy trots up.]
Cindy: [O.S.] I'm back! I got so many baby yummies. Who know babies like mango-spinach n' squash supreme. [Cindy walks into the frame.] Fiddo! You still haven't changed the baby? What have you been doing this whole time? [Close up of Fiddo looking at cam with a "Give me a break" look.] Let me show you how it's done.
[Cindy walks up to the baby. she changes the baby so fast there's a cartoon cloud. Close up of baby changed and giggling.]
Cindy: See? It's pretty easy. [Fiddo looks at cam again.] Now it's feeding time! [Cindy hugs Poopy Jr. Poopy Jr. giggles.] Hold him for a moment.
[Cindy put Poopy Jr. on top of Fiddo. Fiddo struggles to breathe. Cindy opens the bag and pulls out an entire baby high chair. She set's the chair down. She pulls out a bib out of the bag. She picks up Poopy Jr. Fiddo takes a gasp of air. Cindy puts the baby on the high chair and quickly ties the bib on him. She pulls out a jar of Mango spinach N' squash supreme, and a spoon. She quickly opens the jar and takes a spoon full.]
Cindy: Open up! Here comes the cho cho train! [Cindy shoves the spoon in Poopy Jr's mouth. He swallows, giggles and then forcefully vomits all over Cindy's face.] Yyccckk [Wipes face] I guess he doesn't like Mango Spinach n' squash supreme. [She fishes in the bag and pulls out another jar.] How 'bout kumquat pea n' squash splash? [The process is repeated.] Ewwww [Wipes face] Em' lets try passion fruit carrot n' pig blood blast. [The process is repeated] Gross [Wipes face.] parenting is harder then I thought.
Fiddo: Mmmmmmm Haaaaaaaa! [Spoken vindictively.]
Cindy: Lets try this again. [She starts fishing for another jar. Cut to a plain background with a card that reads "One Hour Later" possibly have a narrator read the card, cut back to warehouse. Cindy looks super tired, and messy.] Now that fresh hell is over lets go go something fun! Hmmm I know! He about we teach you how to be a slippery person!
[Cindy picks up baby as she delivers line and holds the baby up.]
Fiddo: Yea! [Poopy Jr. giggles and then poops causing his diaper to inflate.]
Cindy: Ohh em' as soon as we deal with that.
#S15 - QB#
[Cut to the streets of Oliver Town. Cindy no longer looks tired and messy looking. She has Poopy Jr. hanging form her chest in one of those strap on baby pouches. Over her back is a bulging diaper bag. Where she got these items is anyone's guess. She skips down the street. In one hand she holds Fiddo's leash loop. Fiddo bounces around behind her. The street is somewhat crowded.]
Cindy: You're going to love being a slippery person. There's so many things to try. There's scamming, stealing, and my personal favorite, corporate espionage. [The crowd gets much thicker.] Whoa, hey, mommy coming through.
[A man walks by with a wallet sticking out of his back pocket. Poopy Jr. eyes the wallet and grabs it. The man does not notice and keeps going. Poopy Jr. giggles and starts sucking on the wallet. Cindy looks down at the wallet.]
Cindy: He's a natural!
Fiddo: Yay! [Fiddo gets's stepped on.] blarrgggg.
#S16 - QB#
[Transition. Cindy walks along a road while holding Poopy Jr.]
Cindy: This is a really simple scam. You intentionally get hit by a car, and then extort the driver for money in exchange for not reporting the incident. The trick is to roll with the hit so it doesn't do any damage. Now you try.
[Cindy chucks Poopy Jr. at a moving car. He hits the windshield and bounces off leaving a dent in the windshield. The car screeches to a halt. Poopy Jr. falls form off the screen and lands behind the car and splats into a flesh colored blob. The man runs out of the car and runs up to Poopy Jr. He starts doing a panicked freak out dance.]
Man: Oh gosh! Ohhhh geeze! Ohhh frick! I hit a flying baby! Why was there a flying baby! [The flesh blob starts wiggling and then reforms into Poopy Jr. Poopy Jr giggles and then starts sucking his thumb. The man sighs in relief.] Thank goodness he's alright.
Cindy: [O.S. In a voice trying to sound like a man.] What seems to be happening here!
[The came pans to reveal Cindy. She is wearing a police uniform and a large fake mustache. She is holding a small night stick.]
Man: Wait! Officer it's not what it looks like!
Cindy: Oh really? mmmhmm Well it looks like you like running over little babies. [Cindy smacks the man's shin with her baton. The man yelps.]
Man: No! It wasn't my fault! They baby flew into my car!
Cindy: A flying baby a'? Ohh that's gonna be an extra charge. Flying babies are a protected species. mmmhmm [Smacks shin, he yelps.]
Man: Noo! That's not necessary! Look! [Cutaway to Poopy Jr. laying on the pavement. He's baby talking and playing with his toes.] He's completely fine!
Cindy: Of course he's fine! Babies are elastic! mmmhmm [smacks shin, he yelps.] but I can't say the same for you. Kano here is dying to take you down. [pan down to reveal Fiddo. He's wearing a police dog K-9 unit vest.] Ten pounds of K9 fury, trained to sink his teeth deep into a perps flesh, and never let go. [Fiddo growls.]
Man: eee' oh oh geez!
Cindy: Kano, take him in! [Fiddo snarls.]
Man: Ahhh! Wait there's got to be something I can do!
Cindy: Hmmm I'm listening. mmmhmm [smacks shins. He yelps. The man looks around. He pulls out a big wad of cash. He shoves it at Cindy.]
Man: Here take it, and lets forget about this! [Cindy looks the cash over.]
Cindy: mmmhmm [Smacks shin, he yelps.]
Man: What's wrong.
Cindy: I was just thinking how the judge will react to your pitiful display of bribery. mmmhmm [Smacks shin he yelps. The man pulls out another large wad of cash.]
Man: Please take it! It's all I have.
Cindy: Hmm [Cindy swipes the money.] Well everything seems to be in order. Move along citizen.
[Smacks shin he yelps. The man sighs in relief. He runs into his car and drives off. Cindy picks up Poopy Jr.]
Cindy: You were great! Really rolled with that hit. [Tickles baby] Who's a little scam artist, you are! Yes you are! [Stops tickling.] How 'bout we scam the whole town!
[Poopy Jr. laugh and Poops.]
#S17 - QB#
(Note: Everything in this scene is soundless expect the music. The numbers are time stamps of the song.)
[Cut to somewhere in Oliver Town. A edited version of the Talking Heads song "Stay up Late" starts playing. Cindy is walking with Poopy Jr and Fiddo. Zoom on Poopy Jr. He does that baby motor mouth thing in time to the sound the singer makes at 0:08 of the song. When the camera zooms out he is now laying on a side walk. A group of women are standing around him gushing about his cuteness.]
Singer: Cute cute lil' baby, lil' fee fee, N' lil toes. [0:33-0:43]
[While the women gush Cindy pick pockets their purses and steals their Jewelry. Cut to a differt area. Cindy is dressed like a dirt poor eastern European weapon and holding Poopy Jr. She is crying and telling some sob story to a highly concerned gentlemen.]
Singer: [2:44] Why don't we pretend [The man hands Cindy a wad of cash.] There ya go lil' man. [Cindy pretends to thank the man and walks away. She holds the money up and smiles.] Cute cute why not? Late at night, wake him up! [2:53]
[Cut. Cindy has a make shift stall with a sign that says. "Hold a baby $5". There's a line. A women is holding Poopy Jr.]
Singer: [2:54] Baby, baby! Please let me hold him! [Zoom on Cindy. She is counting a stack of money and smiling. 2:57] I wanna make him stay up all night! [3:01]
[Cut. Cindy is holding Poopy Jr. and walking, Fiddo is on his leash.]
Singer: [3:17] lil' baby goes pooh! [Poopy Jr poops] All night long!
[Cut. Cindy is changing Poopy Jr. in a field. Cut to a shot of police looking for Cindy.]
Singer: [3:21] Hey Hey baby! [Cindy sees them and picks up Poopy Jr. and runs away.] All night long!
[Cut: Cindy has another stall. This on says "Exercisims $50" There is a small crowd around the stall. A man looks up at the sign with a highly skeptical look. He hands Cindy 50 bucks.]
Singer: [3:25] And he looks so cute! [Cindy reaches her hands behind the man's back.] All night long! [Cindy pulls her hands back. She is now holding Poopy Jr. who is wearing a devil costume.] In his lil' red suit! [The man gasps. The crowd is impressed. They all hold up cash.] All night long!
[Cut: Cindy is by herself in front of a plain background. She is holding a eclectic guitar.]
Singer: [3:33] Let's go!
[Cindy plays the short guitar solo.]
[Cut. Cindy, Fiddo, and Poopy Jr. dance and celebrate as money falls form the sky in front of a plain background.]
Singer: [3:36] All night long!
[Cut: Cindy is back with her guitar. She plays another quick solo.]
[Cut: Cindy, Fiddo, and Poopy Jr. dance as money rains down again.
Singer: [3:40] All night long!
[Cut: Cindy plays another solo.]
Singer: All night long.!
[Cut. Cindy and Fiddo high five. Cindy kisses Poopy Jr cheek as more money rains down.]
Singer: All. Night. Longggg!
[End music. Cut to black.]
#S18 - QA#
[Fade in. It is now dusk. Cindy is pushing a wheelbarrow filled with cash and jewelry. She hums as she walks. Fiddo is laying on the money pile. Poopy Jr. is in the strap on pouch. Cindy is wearing the diaper bag on her back. She is wearing a button that says "#1 Mom", Poopy Jr. is wearing a button that says "#1 Son". Fiddo is wearing a button on his collar that says. "#1 Dad" Cindy pushes the wheel barrow up the drive way of Susan's house. She enters the living room. Susan is sitting in the exact same spot and sitting in the same pose as before still reading her book. She is barely ackaknolges Cindy entering.]
Susan: [Not looking up form book.] Wow you musta had a lotta fun with that twenty dollars. Haven't' had to put up with you all day.
Cindy: I sure did! And I'll have you know I turned that 20 bucks into like a bil-jil-ion dollars!
[Susan absent mindedly turns her head. she briefly stares at the giant pile of money. She turns back to her book.]
Susan: hmm that's nice.
Cindy: Also I'm a mommy now. This is my new son Poopy Jr. Poopy Jr, meet aunt Susan Mcbossy-pants. Shake hands! [Cindy holds up Poopy Jr's hand.]
Susan: [Rolls eyes. Spoken scaractisicly.] ha ha good one. [Susan shakes Poopy Jr's hand without looking up.]
Cindy: You won't believe Poopy Jr. Less then a day old and already an expert scammer. [Poopy Jr grabs Susan's cheek and starts tugging on it while giggling. Susan doesn't react.] And such surprisingly developed moter skills.
Susan: Wow stunning.
Cindy: Well if you need me I'll be in my room counting my massive haul of cash with my new baby that I had this morning.
Susan: [Still looking at book.] Okay have fun [Cindy walks off. Short pause.] Pfftt naming your baby Poopy Jr? That's like naming someone Breathing Man, Hee Hee
[Susan settles into an even more comfy position. Short pause. Hard zoom on Susan. She looks up form her book with a look of horrid realization.]
#S19 - QA#
[Cut to Cindy's room. Cindy is removing toys form the diaper bag that collectively couldn't have possibly fit. Poopy Jr is playing with that toy were you have to put different shapes through matching holes. He is currently trying to jam the square through the round hole. Fiddo is just laying there like a slug. The wheel barrow is in the corner. All this plays out for like five seconds. Susan litterly walks through the door. Wood chunks fly everywhere.]
Susan: CINDY!!! You kidnapped a baby! How many times have I told you to avoid crimes that can get you hard time!
Cindy: First off if I had kidnapped him he'd be under 24 hour surveillance at an undisclosed location awaiting ransom. I'm not stupid. Second. He wasn't kidnapped I'm his mom.
Susan: That's - That's not true! And requardless you can't keep him. You're not ready to be a mom!
Cindy: Why not!
Susan: Because you're eleven!
Cindy: Eleven point two thr-
Susan: Irrelevant! Did you buy him with that twenty dollars? Is that what you did!
Cindy: Actually I spent it on professional baby delivery advice.
[Susan is starting to worry Cindy is telling the truth. Her emotions slowly start switching form anger to despair.]
Susan: If y-y-you had a baby where's your large belly!? [Points at Cindy's Belly.]
Cindy: Em, I"m not sure what being fat has to do with having a baby, but I tell you, it was a long nine month wait, calumniating in an hour or so of intense labor, and in the end there was a lot of pushing and screaming, but I finally got my baby delivered.
Susan: wh-wh-what-wwwait you're saying he's your actually baby!
Cindy: Yes! I told you he was born this morning.
[Susan tries to hold it together, barely succeeding. After a short time she collects herself.]
Susan: Alright, Alright. . .okay. . .ehh [Susan almost loses it again, but recovers.] I'm not mad I-
Cindy: Yes you are! You destroyed the door, an-
Susan: Stop! I'm not angry. I swear. [Susan's eyebrow twitches.] So you can tell me anything. Cindy, I really need to know who the father is beca-
Cindy: Oh why he's Fiddo here. [Cindy turns and point at Fiddo while speaking.]
[Hard zoom on Susan]
Susan: w-w-w WHAT!!! He can't be the father!
Cindy: Of course he's the father. Why else would he be wearing a pin that says number one dad? [Close up pin.]
Fiddo: Yep! [Turns to Poopy Jr.] that's me boy.
Susan: How! Why!
Cindy: I don't Know? We just looked into each others eyes and we said "you know what? Let's do this! Lets have a baby!
Susan: No-no-no tha-that's IMPOSSIBLE!
[Poopy Jr. Crawls up to Fiddo and picks him up.]
Poopy Jr.: Daddy!
[Poopy Jr starts sucking on Fiddo's ear.]
Susan: wh-wh-no-wh [Susan grabs her head and let's out a prolonged screech and then runs out of the room. Cindy watches here go. Cindy's look and tone Imply that she was hurt by the exchange.]
Cindy: What the heck is her problem? She should be happy I have a baby.
[Flip to show Fiddo. Poopy Jr is giggling as he holds Fiddo by the nape and violently shakes him.]
Fiddo: Maybe she jelly.
Cindy: Yea [Sniffle] total PB and J
#S20 - QA - QZ#
[Cut to the kitchen. Susan franticly runs into the room. She tears a cabinet apart looking for something. She pulls out a phone book. She flips through it and stops. Close up book page. Susan puts her finger on on of the entries that reads Dr. Specklehimer Child Psychologists. She grabs a wall phone with a spiral cord and dials the number. Split screen showing both Susan's kitchen and psychologists office. The phone rings in Specklehimers office. he picks it up.]
Susan: Are you Dr. SpeckleHimer!
Speckle: Yes? Are you aware how lat-
Susan: Yes I know but it's an emergency!
Speckle: I see what seems to be the problem?
Susan: I'm the legal guardian of my little sister.
Speckle: em hm
Susan: And today she just had a baby!
Speckle: Oh, well these things happen form time to time Miss. How old is your sister by chance.
Susan: [Winces] Eleven.
Speckle: Eleven! We have storks kidnapping babies, little girls ramming cars into baby stores, and now eleven year olds are giving birth! What is this town coming too!
Susan: Wait what were those first tow things?
Speckle: Never mind that. I know this is sensitive, but considering her age. I really need to know who the father is.
Susan: Oh gosh em [Susan blurts out the words in a hushed voice.] He's Fiddo the quadriplegic Terrier.
Speckle: Excuse me, what was that?
Susan: The father is my sister's paralyzed pet dog Fiddo.
[Speckle stares forward. After a long pause he hangs up. His screen slides over and Susan's fills the frame.]
Susan: Hello? Hello?!
[Dial tone. Susan throws the phone and screams. She leans a on a chair for support. She starts freaking out for a little bit and then dramatically faints. There's a loud crash as she hits the ground O.S. The kitchen shakes. Something glass falls and breaks in the background.]
#S21 - QA#
[Cut to Cindy's room. Poopy Jr. is still manhandling Fiddo. Cindy seems to be in deep thought. She watches Poopy Jr playing for a time. She looks out the window. The sky is filled with police copters armed with search lights, all presumably looking for Cindy. Cindy looks into the dipper bag. There's only two jars of baby food left. She stares off looking forlorn. A semitransparent version of Susan appears and floats around Cindy.]
Susan: [Echo Effect] You can't keep him. You're not ready to be a mom!
[Susan's Figment fades away and is replaced by the com form before. He also floats around.]
Cop [Echo effect] We gotta runnneeerrrr!
[The cop figment fades away and is replaced by Creamy who is holding an ice cream cone. He also floats around.]
Creamy: [Echo effect.] Looks like you needa cream cone. Ha HA Hyck!
[The creamy figment pokes Cindy's cheek with the ice cream cone and then fades away. There is an actual smear of ice cream on Cindy's cheek. She looks at Poopy Jr again. She sighs and wipes her cheek.]
Cindy: You know I think sis' might be right. Maybe I'm not ready to be a mom.
Fiddo: But it's what you always wanted.
Cindy: I know but he eats so much food and poops every five minites, and I'm running out of totality legal means of getting supplies. I just don't think this situation is sustainable. [Sighs] I think it's time to abort operation Have Baby.
[Poopy Jr giggles and throws Fiddo. He slides across the floor and stops in front of Cindy.]
Fiddo: But we're already accomplished Operation Have Baby.
Cindy: I know it's a pretty late term abortion, but it's the right thing to do. Besides babies don't deserve to live in captivity. They deserve wide open spaces in which to roam free.
Fiddo: [Sighs] Yea. . .
#S22 - QA#
[Cut to Susan's back yard. Cindy is standing by the street, holding Poopy Jr. Fiddo is laying by her side. Fiddo and Cindy look gloom. They are not wearing their pins. Cindy hugs Poopy Jr and pulls out his "#1 Son" pin.]
Cindy: I put a picture of us on the back, [close up pin, There's a thumb nail photo on the back showing Cindy, Fiddo, and Poopy Jr. Celebrating as money rains down. she gives him the pin] to remember us by.
[Fiddo starts singing the Sarah MacLauchlan song "Will you remember me" the instrumental starts playing shortly after he starts singing.]
Fiddo: I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by.
Cindy: Alright that's enough now. [The music stops.]
[Cindy kisses Poopy Jr. She sets him down on the ground. He immediately starts rapidly crawling across the street while giggling. Cindy starts waving. Fiddo and Cindy speak at the same time.]
Fiddo: Bye! So long! Bye! Bye Bye!
Cindy: Bye Bye! I'll miss you! Bye Bye!
[Mr. Happy's truck comes down the street. Shot of Mr. Happy humming a happy tune not paying attention. Shot of baby crawling as truck approaches. Shot of Cindy noticing the truck.]
Cindy: Look out!
[Shot of Mr. Happy humming. Close up Poopy Jr crawling. Close up of truck tire bearing down. Shot form near Cindy's POV. The truck speeds by. Poopy Jr is no where to be seen. Shot of Cindy and Fiddo with their jaws hanging in shock.]
#S23 - QZ#
[Cut to the hill side by the street. Poopy Jr. is crawling down the hill. The hill get's steeper and he starts rolling. He rolls to the bottom of the hill where there's a mound of dirt. He rolls up the mound and goes flying into the air. He giggles while flying. He poops causing his diaper to inflate. He falls down and lands on his inflated diaper and bounces forward. He flies through an open window, and lands on a coach. He laughs. There's the sound of air being let out of a balloon and his diaper deflates. A light is switched on reveling the shadow of a women.]
Mother: What's goi- [gasp] my baby!
[The mom runs to Poopy Jr and scoops him up. There's the sound of foot steps.]
Father: Honey what- My boy! [The father runs up to the pair and hugs them both] our only son has returned to us!
[The parents snuggle up to Poopy Jr. Poopy Jr giggles and poops. Cross fade out.]
#S24 - QA#
[Cross fade in. Cindy and Fiddo are sitting on a park style bench in the backyard. They absent mindedly stare at fire flies looking gloom. Susan walks up to the bench, looking distraught.]
Susan: Alright, I've done some thinking, and you can keep the baby, but starting now you two are going to be spending a lot less alone time together.
Cindy: Oh don't worry the baby's gone.
Susan: What do you mean gone?
Cindy: We did a late term abortion.
Susan: Y-y-y-y-y-you WHAT!!!
Cindy: We tried to send him off peacefully, but in the end a pick up truck got involved.
[Susan's eyes widen, she looks on in abject horror. She starts shaking her head. Cindy pulls out a rolled up used diaper.]
Cindy: I saved one of his dirty diapers. [She puts the dipper directly on her nose and inhales deeply.] It smells terrible just like he did.
[Cindy starts crying. After a short pause Fiddo starts crying.]
Susan: Oh goss oh [gibberish. Susan dramatically faints. Cindy and Fiddo cry on briefly.]
Cindy: You know what? Maybe this is alright.
Cindy: Think about it. He's in a better place then we ever could provide.
Fiddo: Yea. . .
Cindy: And he left behind a lot of money. He'd want us to be happy and spend it.
Fiddo: [Brightens up.] Yea.
Cindy: And look how much rest Susan is getting.
[Close up Susan. She lays there with her tongue hanging out.]
Cindy: See everything is gonna be. .. [whimper] alright [Cindy starts crying. Fiddo starts crying. They cry on briefly. Fiddo lets out a mournful howl. Pan up to show the moon. Match cut.]
#S25 - QZ#
[Match cut to a close up Poopy Jr's eye. Zoom out. Poopy Jr is on the couch nestled between his sleeping parents. He pulls out the pin. Close up picture. Poopy Jr smiles and hugs the pin. Fade to black.]
#S26 - QZ#
[20 second credits.]
#S27 - QZ#
[Fade in. Close up of prison cell door. The door opens revealing the stork dangling by the beak.]
Prison guard: [O.S.] You're free to go
[Cut to outside of prison. The stork is standing there looking happy. He is no longer wearing the jail uniform. He takes off. Some B.S. inspirational music starts playing. The stork soars through the sky. He breathes in the clean fresh air. The horror is over. He's free. He drinks in the splendor of life. He gets hit by Mr. Happy's truck. Cut to black. END.]