Tweet, You Sinners!: Volume 8-02
Drinking for Four, Thinking for Zero.

Tweet, You Sinners!: Volume 8-02

By LoonyLiberal | Sin City Screwballs | 21 May 2021


Before I jump into the traditional twenty terrible theistic takes, I'm going to expose my core.

In response to "Prove god," theist trolls melt down with tactics ranging from gibberish to death threats.

However, if one of them were to say, "Malinda Kathleen Reese sings kickass songs," I'd be forced to begrudgingly reply, "...you may be on to something. Go on."

Malinda made meal preparation kits epic. I didn't even realize that was possible.

May I suggest that my readers send 10% of their income to Malinda instead of those crazy churches? Personally, I'd rather hear Malinda's singing than read theist trolls' shit-tweets.

Speaking of the latter...


Fig. 1: #CircularReasoningForChrist

Fig. 2: Bad Analogies Are Worse Than No Analogies at All.

Fig. 3: Logical Fallacies Are to Logic as Imitation Crab is to Crab.

Fig. 4: "I'm Right Because I Don't Know!"

Fig. 5: Theism Tourettes.

Fig. 6: "Addition Doesn't Add Things."

Fig. 7: You Can Keep Your Jesus. I'll Stick with #SexyKali

Fig. 8: All Fear the Second Coming of @mnjshaffe!

Fig. 9: But Mike's Le Tired.

Fig. 10: I'll Make a Deal. I'll Go to Church When/If Christians Go to an Accredited College.

Fig. 11: "The Bible Isn't Real, But It's Still True!"

Fig. 12: What the Hathor?!?

Fig. 13: The Assassin and the Omega.

Fig. 14: The Intersection of the Trunchbull and Bullshit.

Fig. 15: god's Family Tree Does Not Branch.

Fig. 16: #TweetYouSinners Isn't Horseshoes or Hand Grenades.

Fig. 17: #SluggedyAndy is Right for the Wrong Reasons.

Fig. 18: "And Atheists' Twitter Handle is @bandersjatc!"

Fig. 19: PZ's Logical Fallacy Has Poor Optics.

Fig. 20: FORM BLAZING WORD SALAD!


And that brings us up to 2020-11-02.

There once were some trolls on the Twitter website
That used scripture to pick some fights,
Droning on about how they're right
Though their arguments had holes.

Hey, ho, the theist trolls come,
Acting like jerks and thugs and scum,
Posting tweets that are wrong and dumb,
And their IQs are zero.

The theist trolls don't hesitate
To attack and slur with rage and hate,
Using libelous words that irritate,
Shouting "Libtards!" and "Pedos!"

Hey, ho, the theist trolls come,
Acting like jerks and thugs and scum,
Posting tweets that are wrong and dumb,
And their IQs are zero.

When they're challenged to prove their gods exist,
They collapse into conniption fits,
Insults, dodges, and ragequits
But no gods they ever show.

Hey, ho, the theist trolls come,
Acting like jerks and thugs and scum,
Posting tweets that are wrong and dumb,
And their IQs are zero.

Humans using religious texts
To justify their crimes and wrecks
And their quirks about consensual sex
Is older than Sheol.

Hey, ho, the theist trolls come,
Acting like jerks and thugs and scum,
Posting tweets that are wrong and dumb,
And their IQs are zero.

You don't need gods to be worthy.
Just be the best that you can be.
Gift your friends with love and glee,
And help them reach their goals.

Hey, ho, the theist trolls come,
Acting like jerks and thugs and scum,
Posting tweets that are wrong and dumb,
And their IQs are zero.

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LoonyLiberal
LoonyLiberal

I have 15 years of experience as a software tester. I've been writing off-and-on for 28 years. I adapt quickly to new technologies and new methodologies. And I believe that humor is the most important social skill.


Sin City Screwballs
Sin City Screwballs

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