Even though motivational speakers often say there is no such thing as a "problem"/"failure", rather only lessons and opportunities to grow, I'll speak from a somewhat "heretical" point of view, since most people can't look at things from the "unbeatable" perspective, and some situations we might find ourselves in really seem to be horrendous problems.
However, what happens if we focus our attention on the problem, instead of the solution? It's like focusing on the labyrinth's walls instead of the way out.
The mistake of the majority is that they underestimate the power of possibilities. To put it in a somewhat religious perspective, we say: "With God, everything is possible! What you intended against me for evil, God intended for good." Genesis 50:20
Let's take emotional strength, intelligence, and "painful" relationships into a context. Some men start investing in themselves only after heartbreaking experiences. Some tolerate obesity until their loved ones hurt them by calling them fat and lazy. Or, you might lose a job, and experience poverty, only to find yourself getting a better job later on down the road.
So, the first thing is to always keep in mind that every situation can be turned and transformed into a blessing. As long as you think it is not possible, you'll be "out of luck".
A few weeks ago one of my relatives got fired. The company he worked for went into bankruptcy thanks to the covid situation. He was worried, nervous, and afraid. I told him not to worry, 'cause nothing just happens. Needless to say, he succeeded at becoming his own boss. Now, he is working from home, doing an easy job, and earning twice as much.
The moment you begin feeling like a winner, you'll start winning, 'cause, "feeling gets the blessing".
Know that you cannot be a loser unless you accept that identity within your mind.
The second thing is to be definite, and decisive. Nobody can become a champion without going through hardships. Take the movie "Rocky" as an example. He was penniless, lonely, ridiculed, and underestimated, but he refused to accept the "bum identity". It doesn't matter what others think of you. What do you think of yourself?
The power of decisiveness is miraculous! Take the story of Jesus and a blind man for example. Jesus asked him "What do you want me to do for you?".
You might be wondering why, 'cause it was obvious that the man was blind, but the point is to teach us the importance of being decisive and definite.
The third thing is visualization and a constant repetitive affirmation. Once you decide what you want, mentally step into that BE-ing state, and use affirmations (repetitively)! Instead of saying "I am so lonely", say; "I AM loved!". Once you begin to think, act, and live as your hero, you'll become your own hero.
*I am glad to hear my articles encouraged and motivated many. Please, read my article "The Magnificence Of The Subconscious Mind" (https://read.cash/@Gemstone/the-magnificence-of-the-subconscious-mind-d706bc02) at least once a day (until your mind gets re-programmed). That article contains EVERYTHING you need to turn the table around and start living the life of your dreams!*