"Real Talk"

By Kelly Kel | kellykel | 27 Aug 2019

   Who's back in the dating pool again, after being out of the game for a sufficient amount of time? Is the person across the table from you "talking at you", displaying all their "badges of accomplishments" like a twenty plus year fishing vest with multiple "big fish" award patches? Maybe your spinner landed on another spot in the date-o-wheel, when you feel like a priest sitting in a confession booth, listening to every complaint, sin, and hardship that person has ever faced since birth. Most likely, in either case, a second date was not in the near future. Communication, balance, and timing is virtue in the dating game.

   For example, let's say you meet someone online and decide to take that leap of faith and go out to dinner with them, after being out of the dating vortex for years. You both sit down, and boom! You are hit with every football, baseball, whatever trophy from third grade on in their life! You even look behind you to see if there is a teleprompter behind you because you can't get a word in edge wise and it sounds so scripted! If you were talking to the person on the phone you could put the phone down, take a shower, go grocery shopping, cut the grass, and they would still be talking on how awesome their life accomplishments were since birth, not having a clue you were absent from the conversation the last three hours! Or the fact you keep checking your phone praying that the sitter calls that your kid just threw up and you have to get the hell out of there!

   Same goes for the other scenario I mentioned before, the "confession booth" date. Meeting someone for the first time, don't throw all your sins, complaints, and hardships into the atmosphere from the jump.Talking about every person who has done you dirty since first grade, every disease you had since childhood, crimes you committed, etc. on the first date is going to make someone change their phone number and go by a different name as they run for the dam door. You will be hearing their tires squeal by you as they are fish tailing out of the parking lot so you can't read their license plate!

   Point I am trying to make is this:balance your "ego" compartment of your brain with your "soul" compartment, remembering timing and others perception is everything. Relationships are like trees, they need time to grow, just like everything else. You don't plant a tree and the next day its twelve feet tall, right? Throwing everything out there about oneself, from either compartment, is not necessary. If you want a future date with that person, space out your information for future dates, don't overload them on the first. Going back to my tree analogy, treat every story or experience you have in your life like a leaf on a tree in the Fall. Patience and timing gradually blows them off the tree, and they never fall all in one day!

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Kelly Kel
Kelly Kel

Went from having everything to being homeless due to death, grief, addiction, and hitting rock bottom . Now I have helped lost souls like I was at one time by sharing my story and helping them conquer how they react to what the universe has thrown at them

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