You are Still There ... In a Memoir of a Mamma

You have died and are now resting in a bed"

Filled to the feet with roses.
A life once lived with loving poses.
Shared reasons once before ...
With us by your side. It’s just another life
Without having to decide when death is to take o’r.
Until that time when it’s to come, and when for some
Chance you may not be there anymore
And your father is standing o’r
Your feet and cries for days over pain,
And your name
With roses, and poses in his own shaking hands,
Kissing them 'til each and every one of the petals dries
With wetness of his symphony sobs.
Do you the dead realize what your life before was to you?
For you were the best.
You had been the one who was looked up to
By your little sister Tonya, who had admired you.
All those lazy-dazy days you had spent with her down at the river
Dancing the splashes over each of your faces,
Laughing at the bugs that bit your arms over and over
By the two tree houses
That you, your sis, and brother built together
In your bare feet.
Those times life had seemed to standstill
With the fun and gamed smiles
You had when you boosted theirs up the ladder.
You hadn’t regretted any of it that sunny day
When the three of you came home muddied to your feet
And had to listen to I, your Mother’s yells and
Pleas to stay off the brand new carpet
your Father and I just put in five weeks earlier.

And yes ... I did send you to the bathtub,
Making you clean off both David and Tonya.
I couldn’t believe how you obeyed,
Picking them up in your arms and carrying them gently across the living room floor
With plastic bags tied to your feet so you wouldn’t get the floor dirty.
I remember hearing the water turning on; The sound of the water in my eyes …
And the picture I had in my ears of you getting them into the tub with ease.
‘Oh God!”
I couldn’t help it when my feet snuck over to the bathroom door and peered in
At the three of you, splashing the water again on each other
As you did at the river memories ago.
My smile became big as yours did as I saw the soapsuds on your shoulders, and I
Almost couldn’t help from giving up my cover as
Your bother began standing on his head under the muddy water
Blowing bubbles out his nose!
You kids laughed, laughed, and laughed
For almost an hour on end,
And it wasn’t till you heard your father's voice come home
From his hard day of work at the construction yard
Across town by the flea market where we would go every Saturday morn
To buy the cheap materials that made our house into the reality we live
Each day, and to the day.
I remember how you kids slipped and scrambled from the tub
Sliding your way to the towel that hugged the wall under the mirror,
Which echoed the beauty in all three of you.
I slipped away from the door as you kids ran naked from the bathroom
And to your father's hugs and kisses,
Tonya’s goggles still on her face,
And you, Brian … your cleaned hands embraced the love you had for your Father the most.

Though now you have died, and are resting in that bed
Filled to the feet with roses
In front of your whole family.
Your life once lived before
With loving poses and
Shared reasons
With us by your side still.
Now remember …
It’s just another life
Without having to decide
When life is to take o’r.


Author notes

My best friend died in 1999, it wasn't on purpose, but I was there to see it. I tried to tale the love and inspirations, pain, and emotional memories, from his Mother's point of view. I talked with his mother all the time afterward until I left Colorado. I remember the one best memory she had, she told me about that day when her kids came home muddied to their feet.

Best friends are the best to have, even though he is not on planet earth, he is still in my heart.

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Nathaniel Hammel
Nathaniel Hammel

I am a Traveling Publisher, Printer, Graphic Designer, Musician, and Artist!

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