Hey old friend... how are you?
I am existing in a space carved by my own growth and pain. The what I am becoming sits somewhere beyond these excruciating steps as I journey with this current wave of grief. She is beckoning my spirit forth and the taste of freedom once more rercainates itself as acceptance of what is.
I crave for a pair of eyes to see through my voiceless shell. If a hand reaches in the shadows for mine, I promise to let you meet the what currently holds my soul hostage.
Should I paint the dark here?
Bind it with poetic verse
And let it's words bleed on behalf of a traumatised soul
Is it okay for me to spill my stale blues
On a couple of screens
As the holy herb burns down my demons
And I shall miss my lungs
The day death comes for my overwhelmed bones
For they created the rhythm
That has kept me alive.
I am still mourning the death of my old man. I am and have been trying to digest it. For my inner child to accept it. I shall keep fighting for light.
The end of a day bring more hours to evade sleep and nothing had readied me for a fatigued crypto scavenger mode. The excited newbie who just recently discovered the potential of crypto and won't stop indulging in it's maddening vastness and stimulating opportunities.
This post on Torum summarizes my unexplainable DeFi fever!
In a week, I am meant to start my role at Creative Coin Fund and though I am thrilled to see where that takes me, the anxiety behind my zeal can't be ignored.
The weight of being trusted with anything has always been a humbling experience that sometimes cripples me with fear especially at these times. I hope to deliver what is asked of me by the community.
This piece is acting as a step towards regaining my writing fluency. If I get it back... I can untangle myself from the self doubt as I also have other paying projects relying on my writing prowess and so there is a dire need to reconnect with my ink guardian.
The farm which was filled with over grown weeds and organic debris is currently being transformed. I had to cut down two trees as I required wood to build my mushroom farming shed, a simple three roomed house for who is helping me with the farming and an upcoming stable for rearing lambs.
The where my vegetables will be is already clean but I yet to clear the bit ill put up my indoor production room. That will definitely take a few more weeks and almost 200 extra dollars.
The intial steps of farming requires a bit of capital as such projects also need seedlings/seeds, farming tools, organic pesticides and fertilisers. I might spend close to 800 dollars in total before profit can start streaming in. It is a challenge I have chosen to tackle... sigh.
First visit. It was raining hard!
This one hurt. I replanted but this hurt. As the semi giants blue gums fell, the rebudding stumps at the corner had to go too as they were next to where the giant of the home is resting.
I want to fence his final home with climbing fruits and flowers. He loved cultivating both of them aside from his love for trees.
Look at the transformed space! I love it.
And I will stop there and hope that these are enough ways to fight through the season I am in and watch myself chase healing however I possibly can. Wish me luck.