Sirwin
Sirwin

Of life and patterns


I've been arrogant. It took me several years to notice the pattern of skipping basic steps in an attempt to get something I desire just because I think I can pass the mundane, boring, tedious, lowly parts of the process that most people have to go through. Imagine a kid who doesn't know the alphabet suddenly attempting to read Shakespeare or Foucault. In both life and magic that's me - the little kid who wants to skip all the tedious learning and boring exercises, jump right into EVERYTHING and understand it like some God would - simply by KNOWING, with no preparation, practice, or trial and error. 

Have I waisted some time? Of course. And while I am not the one to waste even more of my energy resources on pointless regrets, I do notice my faults and mistakes well enough to learn from them and not repeat the same patterns if I want to get different results. I've mistaken myself for a Mage of the Tarot Deck when in truth I am merely a Fool standing on the edge of the cliff. The path I walk has to go through certain terrain and through specific realms if I want to reach that status of the Mage -- and move on). Tarot isn't even my favorite, but the analogy works. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, whoever reads this blog entry...

I am not sure if I am coming back on this platform. If I do, I am not sure what direction this blog will take. I am into many things, but for the past two years I've been feeling like our world is heavily oversaturated with information. I want things to make sense. I feel that my input into this vast ocean of whatever has to be meaningful enough, to stand out, to be crisp, and sharp, and genuine. It has to be so because it's a part of my own learning, and I won't be satisfied if I go for less than something that thins the veil of confusion and comfortable numbness we all exist in. We will see what happens. The tngs I have to say aren't for the "regular" ears, or maybe I'm being arrogant again.

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Blues, booze, and a bit of metaphysics
Blues, booze, and a bit of metaphysics

All things, true and questionable, that we stumble upon or live through

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